Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Government
(Page 28)
We all know that Prime Ministers are wedded to the truth, but like other married couples they sometimes live apart.
‘Saki’ H.H. Munro
(1870 – 1916) British writer
Government
Prime Ministers
I had the right to remain silent, but I had lost the ability to.
Ron White
(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol
Food/Drink
Law
On getting arrested
We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.
Buck Henry
(1930 – ) actor, writer, film & television director
Communication
Government
Language
President
George W. Bush
Now I know what a statesman is; he's a dead politician.
Frank ‘Kin’ Hubbard
(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Government
Politicians
Statesmen
Legal: Used to mean lawful; now it means some kind of loophole.
Anonymous
Definitions
Government
Law
Legal
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication
Definitions
Government
Language
Law
Litigation
Sausage
An aristocracy in a republic is like a chicken whose head has been cut off; it may run about in a lively way, but in fact it is dead.
Nancy Mitford
(1904 – 1973) English novelist & biographer
Government
Aristocracy
Whatever goes us, stays up.
Park's Law of Insurance Rates and Taxes
Government
Money
Murphy’s Laws
Taxes
Prices
The CIA is made up of boys whose families sent them to Princeton but wouldn't let them into the family brokerage business.
Lyndon Johnson
(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Government
Money
CIA
Ivy League
Those that respect the law and love sausage should watch neither being made.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Congress
Food/Drink
Government
Law
Sausage
I learned more about the economy from one South Dakota dust storm that I did in all my years of college.
Hubert H. Humphrey
(1911 – 1978) U.S. vice president & politician
Government
Money
Science/Weather
Dust storms
Economy
South Dakota
Political success is the ability, when the inevitable occurs, to get credit for it.
Dr. Laurence J. Peter
(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Politics
Success
Credit
Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through.
Jonathan Swift
(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Government
Law
Cobwebs
Law
Congratulations, Congress! 77% disapproval rating! You may be about to become the English language’s most offensive C-word.
John Oliver
(1977 – ) British political comedian & television host
Congress
Government
Politics isn't about left versus right; it's about top versus bottom.
Jim Hightower
(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Government
Politics
The worst part about politics is that you're always right and no one ever knows it."
Unknown
Government
Politics
Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
Benjamin Franklin
(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Animals
Democracy
Elections/Voting
Government
Democracy
Lamb
Lunch
Wolves
If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
A Murphy's Military Law
Military
Murphy’s Laws
Ambushes
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Government
Occupations
Taxes
Tax collector
Taxidermist
We all know this administration loves deleting history faster than Anthony Weiner when he hears footsteps.
Hasan Minhaj
(1985 – ) American comedian & actor
Government
Politics
When God created Republicans, he gave up on everything else.
Frank Zappa
(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Beliefs
Government
Republicans
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