Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Subject:
Government
(Page 28)
If we had less statesmanship we could get along with fewer battleships.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Arms
Conflict
Government
Military
Things
War
Battleships
Statemanship
The art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one class of citizen to give to the other.
Voltaire
(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Government
Money
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Congress
Fools
Government
Insults
Intelligence
There are many inside dopes in politics and government.
Law of Inside Dope
Fools
Government
Intelligence
Language
Murphy’s Laws
Politics
Bureaucrat: A politician who has tenure.
Anonymous
Definitions
Government
Politicians
I had other priorities in the sixties than military service.
Dick Cheney
(1941 – ) U.S. vice president, politician & businessman
Government
Military
On his five draft deferments
The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.
Andy Borowitz
(1958 – ) American writer, comedian, satirist & actor
Government
Homeless
Republicans
They're just jealous because they don't have three wise men and a virgin in the whole organization.
Vincent ‘Buddy’ Cianci Jr.
(1941 – ) Mayor of Providence, Rhode Island
Government
Insults
On the ACLU's suit to have a city nativity scene removed
I intend to open this country up to democracy, and anyone who is against that, I will jail.
João Baptista de Oliveira Figueiredo
(1918 – 1999) Brazilian military leader & politician
Democracy
Government
Misspokements
Democracy
I learned more about the economy from one South Dakota dust storm that I did in all my years of college.
Hubert H. Humphrey
(1911 – 1978) U.S. vice president & politician
Government
Money
Science/Weather
Dust storms
Economy
South Dakota
All other things being equal, a bald man cannot be elected President of the United States.
Noble's Law of Political Imagery
Appearance
Government
Hair
Murphy’s Laws
President
Baldness
Having committed political suicide, the Conservative Party is now living to regret it.
Chris Patten
(1944 – ) British politician, chancellor of Oxford & governor of Hong Kong
Government
Politics
Conservative Party
I Am America (And So Can You!)
Stephen Colbert
Book Titles
Government
Tracers work BOTH ways.
A Murphy's Military Law
Arms
Military
Murphy’s Laws
Tracers
Why do they call it a “hate” crime, if I like doing it?
Anthony Jeselnik
(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Government
Law
Hate crime
If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.
A Murphy's Military Law
Military
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Solutions
The effectiveness of a politician varies in inverse proportion to his commitment to principle.
Shaffer's Law
Government
Murphy’s Laws
Politicians
Principles
The statesman shears the sheep; the politician skins them.
Austin O’Malley
(1858 – 1932) American physicist, physician & humorist
Government
Politicians
Statesmen
A little rebellion now and then is a good thing.
Government
Rebellion
One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President.
Lyndon Johnson
(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Golf
Government
Politics
President
Sports
Law expands in proportion to the resources available for its enforcement.
Oaks's Unruly Laws for Lawmakers I
Government
Murphy’s Laws
Enforcement
Legislation
Page 28 of 48
« First
« Previous
26
27
28
29
30
Next »
Last »