Subject: Government (Page 4)

Liberty doesn't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politicians

When there’s a single thief, it's robbery; when there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation.

Crime Government Taxes

When God created Republicans, he gave up on everything else.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Beliefs Government

Master of the Rolls: Really, Mr Smith, do give this Court credit for some little intelligence.

Smith: That is the mistake I made in the Court below, My Lord.

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer
Government Law

The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Government Money Taxes

Bill Clinton's foreign policy experience is pretty much confined to having had breakfast once at the International House of Pancakes.

(1938 – ) political commentator, author, columnist, politician & broadcaster
Insults Intelligence Politics

All battles are fought at the junction of two or more map sheets… printed at different scales.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Politicians are always trying to convince you that they can solve the unemployment problem if you'll just give them a job.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Elections/Voting Government Politicians Work

Diplomat: If you have the advantage over someone, and you lead him to think that he has the advantage over you, without giving him the chance to take advantage of you.

Definitions Government

I’m thrilled that the American people stopped him from running this time; as a citizen, I’m happy about that, but as a comic, I weep.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
America Elections/Voting Government People Politicians

Foot: A politician’s pacifier.

Definitions Politicians

They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance!

(1813 – 1864) American teacher & Union Army general in the Civil War
Death Government Military

A fool and his money are soon elected.

Elections/Voting Fools Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.

Military Murphy’s Laws

I often say after eight years in Washington, I longed for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood.

U.S. Senator (1942 – 2015) U.S. senator (Tennessee) & actor
Government Hollywood Places

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

(1922 – 2007) American novelist
America Emotions Fear Government School

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Animals Democracy Elections/Voting Government

A government survey reveals the prime minister is doing the work of two men… Laurel and Hardy.

(1930 – 2016) Scottish stand-up comedian, actor, writer & broadcaster
England Government

If voting changed anything they’d abolish it.

(1945 – ) British politician
Elections/Voting Government

I would think the squad car cop is to the cop on a bike as the sketch artist is to the etch-a-sketch artist.

(1969 – ) American stand-up comedian
Government Law

What does an actor know about politics?

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Politics