Subject: Government (Page 4)

Republicans have called for a National African-American Museum; the plan is being held up by finding a location that isn't in their neighborhood.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Government Politics

The Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Death Government Politicians

If Congress must do a painful thing, the thing must be done in an odd-number year.

Congress Government Murphy’s Laws Time

A government survey reveals the prime minister is doing the work of two men… Laurel and Hardy.

(1930 – 2016) Scottish stand-up comedian, actor, writer & broadcaster
England Government

I Like My Tea With Civilized Discourse

Politics

Politics is not a bad profession; if you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Politics

There may be said to be three sorts of lawyers, able, unable, and lamentable.

(1805 – 1864) English editor, novelist & sporting writer
Lawyers Occupations Work

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers; what I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Alcohol Food/Drink Government Politicians

When there’s a single thief, it's robbery; when there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation.

Crime Government Taxes

Anybody who thinks talk is cheap should get some legal advice.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Government Law Lawyers Money Opinion

I would think the squad car cop is to the cop on a bike as the sketch artist is to the etch-a-sketch artist.

(1969 – ) American stand-up comedian
Government Law

The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance.

Military Murphy’s Laws

The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Family Government Law Lawyers Mothers People

We all know this administration loves deleting history faster than Anthony Weiner when he hears footsteps.

(1985 – ) American comedian & actor
Government Politics

Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid people, it is true that most stupid people are conservative.

(1806-1873) British philosopher
Beliefs Government Intelligence Opinion Stupidity

The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
Government Health

Look, we play the Star Spangled Banner before every game; you want us to pay income taxes, too?

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Government Taxes

They're just jealous because they don't have three wise men and a virgin in the whole organization.

(1941 – ) Mayor of Providence, Rhode Island
Government Insults

Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress’s role.

(1958 – ) American writer, comedian, satirist & actor
Congress Government

We don’t just have egg on our face; we have omelette all over our suits.

(1940 – ) American television journalist & author
Elections/Voting Government

A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.

Military