Subject: Government » Taxes

People try to live within their income so they can afford to pay taxes to a government that can't live within its income.

businessman
Government Money Taxes

Why is it that if you take advantage of a tax break and you’re a corporation, you’re a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something you need to not be hungry, you’re a moocher?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Government Taxes

Today, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax form than it does to make the income.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Money Taxes

An income tax form is like a laundry list – either way you lose your shirt.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Clothing Government Taxes

If a taxpayer thinks he can cheat safely, he probably will.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes

Inheritance taxes are so high that the happiest mourner at a rich man's funeral is usually Uncle Sam.

(1918 - 2002) American author
Government Taxes

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Intelligence Taxes Understanding World

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Government Taxes

Bing (Crosby) doesn't pay income tax; he just calls the government and says, 'How much do you boys need?'

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Taxes Wealth

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Government Occupations Taxes

Look, we play the Star Spangled Banner before every game; you want us to pay income taxes, too?

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Government Taxes

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

(1959 – ) American comedian
Characteristics Taxes

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Death Government Taxes

Tax Reform: Taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven’t been taxed before.

Definitions Government Taxes

Employees make the best dates; you don’t have to pick them up and they’re always tax-deductible.

(1928 – 1987) painter, printmaker & filmmaker
Dating Relationships Taxes Work

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Golf Government People Sports Taxes

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

(1918 – 2007) American humor writer
Government Money Taxes

There is nothing more permanent than a temporary tax.

Murphy’s Laws Taxes Time

I have the perfect simplified tax form for government… why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Taxes

Government Bureau: Where the taxpayer’s shirt is kept.

Definitions Government Taxes

Only the little people pay taxes.

(1920 – 2007) American billionaire businesswoman & real estate investor
Government Taxes