Subject: Government » Taxes

A taxpayer is someone who does not have to take a civil service exam in order to work for the government.

Government Murphy’s Laws Taxes

When it comes to finances, remember that there are no withholding taxes on the wages of sin.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Government Money Taxes

Life: Coming into the world wit nothing, leaving with nothing and, in between, giving everything to the IRS.

Definitions Life Taxes

As long as you are a tax deduction, you will always be safe in my house.

(1961 – ) American comedian, actor & talk show host
Government Taxes

I think that after the third marriage Georgie tried to claim his divorce attorney as a dependent.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Divorce Government Lawyers Marriage Taxes

An income tax form is like a laundry list – either way you lose your shirt.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Clothing Government Taxes

In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Death Taxes

Taxpayer: One who doesn’t have to pass a civil service exam to work for the government.

Definitions Government Taxes Work

No Taxes… let's just tip the government 15% if they do a good job.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Government Money Taxes

No taxation without regimentation.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Government Malaprops Taxes

America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
America Places Taxes

The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Government Money Taxes

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Definitions Science/Weather Taxes

No politician talks taxes during an election year.

Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians Taxes

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

(1959 – ) American comedian
Characteristics Taxes

No One Likes Paying Taxes – What Makes You So Special?

Government Taxes

The most undesirable things are the most certain (death and taxes).

Death Murphy’s Laws Problems Taxes

The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Government Taxes

Employees make the best dates; you don’t have to pick them up and they’re always tax-deductible.

(1928 – 1987) painter, printmaker & filmmaker
Dating Relationships Taxes Work

Remember the politician who wouldn't release his tax returns and it turned out he had nothing to hide? … Me neither.

(1958 – ) American writer, comedian, satirist & actor
Government Politicians Taxes