Subject: Health » Doctors (Page 5)

You know, the only difference between me and a surgeon or a pediatrician is that when I approach a couple with a child and say, ‘I’d like to keep him for a few days and do some bloodwork,’ it’s considered inappropriate.

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Doctors Entertainment Health

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir.


(1608 – 1661) English churchman & historian
Doctors Health

God heals and the doctor takes the fee.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Beliefs Doctors God Health Money

I told my doctor, “I’ve swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills” and he told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Doctors Health

Dermatologist: Person who makes rash judgments.

Definitions Doctors Health

Hippocritical oath.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Doctors Health Malaprops

If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better; but don’t make an appointment, and you’ll stay sick.

Doctors Health Murphy’s Laws

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said, “Cough!”

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Doctors Health Money

A doctor’s reputation is made by the number of eminent men who die under his care.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Death Doctors Health

Doctor, feel my purse.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Doctors Health

Half a psychiatrist's patients see him because they are married – the other half because they're not.

(1905 –1998) American author
Doctors Health Marriage

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease.

Doctors Health Proverbs

If your time ain't come, not even a doctor can kill you.

Death Doctors Health Life Situations

My shrink gives me 75 per cent off if I make believe I’m someone else.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Doctors Health

I used to believe that chiropractors where charlatans, but then I went to one, and now I stand corrected.

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Doctors Health

My doctor is wonderful; once, when I couldn’t afford an operation, he touched up the X-rays.

(1918 – 2007) American entertainer, actor & television host
Doctors Health Money

Doctors, dentists, and lawyers are only on time for appointments when you’re not.

Doctors Lawyers Murphy’s Laws

No physician is really good before he has killed one or two patients.

Doctors Health Proverbs

My doctor gave me two weeks to live… I hope they're in August.

comedian
Death Doctors Health

Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.

Doctors Health Murphy’s Laws

Cold: An ailment cured in two weeks with a doctor’s care, and in fourteen days without it.

Definitions Doctors Health