Subject: Health (Page 4)

Half a psychiatrist's patients see him because they are married – the other half because they're not.

(1905 –1998) American author
Doctors Health Marriage

Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

(1860 – 1904) Russian short-story writer, playwright & physician
Doctors Government Health Law Lawyers

We drink to one another’s health, and spoil our own.

(1859 – 1927) English writer
Food/Drink Health

I’ve just learned about his illness; let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Health Insults

If your time ain't come, not even a doctor can kill you.

Death Doctors Health Life Situations

I read today that 10 out of 2 people are dyslectic.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Health

Any dentist who says “This won’t hurt a bit” is lying through your teeth.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Health

Cured yesterday of my disease, I died last night of my physician.

(1664 – 1721) English poet & diplomat
Death Doctors Health

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Doctors Fools Intelligence

What’s one more torpedo in a sinking ship?

American football player
Football Health Sports

London: A place you go to get bronchitis.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Definitions Health Places

Doctor: Someone who practices medicine but charges as if he knew.

Definitions Doctors Health

If you have s stomach ache, in France you get a suppository, in Germany a health spa, in the United States they cut your stomach open and in Britain they put you on a waiting list.

(1955 – ) English politician
Health Places

Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Age Health

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won’t hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Emotions Happiness Health

Toothache: The pain that drives you to extraction.

Definitions Health

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won’t hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Emotions Happiness Health

My health is good; it’s my age that’s bad.

(1903 – 1992) country music singer, fiddler & promoter
Age Health Old

I had amnesia… once or twice.


Health Memory

I finally have a dental plan… I chew on the other side.

comedy writer & stand-up comedian
Health

Doctor, feel my purse.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Doctors Health