Subject: Intelligence (Page 19)

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Eating Food/Drink Intelligence

Has the mathematical abilities of a Clydesdale.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Insults Intelligence

He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society.

(1951 – ) American conservative radio talk-show host
Beliefs Stupidity

This is an age in which one cannot find common sense without a search warrant.

(1941 – ) columnist, commentator & editor
Intelligence Time

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Intelligence Things

I’ve developed a new philosophy… I’m only going to dread one day at a time.

cartoon character, Peanuts, Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000) cartoonist
Intelligence Life Time

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Fools Marriage Men

It’s difficult to remember when you haven’t played it before.

(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist
Entertainment Intelligence Memory Misspokements Music

Every man is a fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists of not exceeding the limit.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Fools Intelligence Wisdom

Do not argue with an idiot; he/she will drag you down to his/her level and beat you with experience.

Fools Intelligence People

My grandfather’s a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice; one day, he took me aside and left me there.

American comedian
Intelligence Memory Relationships

Radio is the theater of the mind; television is the theater of the mindless.

(1921 – 2000) comedian, television host, musician, actor & writer
Entertainment Intelligence Television

Look, I don’t know shit about shit but I know right from wrong!

(1967 – ) American actress & producer
Intelligence

I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,“Forget everything you know about slipcovers,” so I did, and it was a load off my mind; then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn’t know what the hell they were.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Entertainment Memory Television

Ignoramus: A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

I’m in love with a philosophy major, and she doesn’t even know I exist – and worse… she can prove it.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Emotions Intelligence Love Situations

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.

(1911 – 1978) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Intelligence Opinion

Comparing information and knowledge is like asking whether the fatness of a pig is more or less green than the designated hitter rule.

(1948 – ) American writer & mathematician
Education Intelligence

I recognize my limits, but when I look around I realize I am not living exactly in a world of giants.

(1919 – ) Italian Prime Minister
Characteristics Intelligence

Common sense is compelled to make its way without the enthusiasm of anyone.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Intelligence