Subject: Intelligence (Page 23)

The helmet is one of the least effective inventions of mankind. It's designed to protect a brain that is functioning so poorly as to be unable to prevent itself from being cracked open on its own.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Intelligence

Philosophy: Common sense in a dress suit.

Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

He that has a secret to hide should not only hide it but hide that he has it to hide.

(1795 – 1881) Scottish philosopher, writer, historian & teacher
Intelligence

Whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Communication Intelligence Speech

The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.

(1883 – 1946) English economist
Government Intelligence Money Taxes

Those who express random thoughts to legislative committees are often surprised and appalled to find themselves the instigators of law.

Government Ideas Intelligence Law Murphy’s Laws

His mind is so open that the wind whistles through it.

(1918 – 2001) American sportswriter, commentator & actor
Insults Intelligence Mind

Experts in advanced countries underestimate by a factor of 2 to 4 the ability of people in underdeveloped countries to do anything technical.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Places

I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Elections/Voting Government Intelligence President Stupidity

It doesn't take rocket appliances.

Intelligence Malaprops

Overall Bush's European trip has been an overwhelming success. Not once has he gotten separated from his group.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Intelligence People

History would be an excellent thing, if only it were true.

(1828 – 1910) Russian writer
History Intelligence Time

It sounds good on paper.

Ideas Intelligence Mixed metaphors

Thoughts left unsaid are never wasted.

(1875 – 1957) stockbroker & man of letters
Intelligence Thinking

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Communication Fools Intelligence

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.

(1814 – 1882) American clergyman
Family Fathers Intelligence

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

(1942 – ) humorist & radio broadcaster
Characteristics Intelligence Situations

There is a distinct difference between having an open mind and having a hole in your head from which your brain leaks out.

(1928 – ) Canadian stage magician, skeptic & opponent of pseudoscience
Intelligence

Enough research will tend to support your theory.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Work

What a waste it is to lose one's mind; or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Intelligence Mind Misspokements

I wonder sometimes if manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

(1938 – 2007) British writer
Fools Intelligence People Things