Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Intelligence
(Page 23)
There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed and blissfully unaware.
Doug Larson
(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Characteristics
Intelligence
Awareness
It’s easy to identify people who can’t count to ten; they’re in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
June Henderson
Intelligence
Stupidity
Supermarket express lane
1. Any great truth can – and eventually will – be expressed as a cliche.2. Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
Short's Quotations
Communication
Facts
Intelligence
Murphy’s Laws
Cliches
Oh good, now he’ll be bi-ignorant.
Jim Hightower
(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Communication
Insults
Intelligence
Language
On Texas Governor Bill Clements learning Spanish
If he had a mind, there was something on it.
P.G. Wodehouse
(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Insults
Intelligence
Only someone who understands something absolutely can explain it so no one else can understand it.
Rudnicki's Nobel Principle
Intelligence
Murphy’s Laws
Understanding
Explanation
Knowledge
A learned blockhead is a greater blockhead than an ignorant one.
Benjamin Franklin
(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Education
Fools
Intelligence
Stupidity
Blockheads
The older you get, the faster you ran as a kid.
Steve Owen
professional football player & coach
Age
Football
Memory
Sports
Running
Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex.
Karl Marx
(1818 – 1883) German philosopher, economist, sociologist & socialist
Education
Intelligence
Sex
Philosophy
Reconsider: To seek a justification for a decision already made.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions
Intelligence
Thinking
Reconsider
The conclusions of most good operations research studies are obvious.
The Billings Phenomenon
Intelligence
Murphy’s Laws
Research
We grow too soon old and too late smart.
Dutch proverb
Age
Old
Proverbs
Wisdom
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Government
Intelligence
Politicians
There are three kinds of men: the ones who learn by reading; the few who learn by observation; the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.
Will Rogers
(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Intelligence
People
Learning
The helmet is one of the least effective inventions of mankind. It's designed to protect a brain that is functioning so poorly as to be unable to prevent itself from being cracked open on its own.
Jerry Seinfeld
(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Intelligence
Helmets
A fool and your money are soon partners.
Mark's Law of Monetary Equalization
Fools
Money
Murphy’s Laws
Partners
It's a new low for actresses when you have to wonder what's between her ears instead of her legs.
Katharine Hepburn
(1907 – 2003) American actress of film, stage & television
Insults
Intelligence
About Sharon Stone
Only a man who has loved a woman of genius can appreciate what happiness there is in loving a fool.
Charles de Talleyrand-Périgord
(1754 – 1838) French prime minister & diplomat
Fools
Intelligence
Marriage
Men
Women
I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
Mitch Hedberg
(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Entertainment
Intelligence
Morse Code
Tap dancers
Facts are meaningless; you can use facts to prove anything that’s remotely true!
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence
TV/Movie Quotes
Facts
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
Woody Allen
(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Body
Mind
People
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