Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Intelligence
(Page 25)
Where ignorance is bliss it's foolish to borrow your neighbor's newspaper.
Frank ‘Kin’ Hubbard
(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Intelligence
People
Reading/Writing
Stupidity
Neighbors
Newspapers
What better way to head off more oil drilling, nuclear plants, than by blowing up a rig? … I'm just noting the timing, here.
Rush Limbaugh
(1951 – ) American conservative radio talk-show host
Intelligence
Stupidity
Suggesting that environmentalists deliberately blew up the oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico to stop offshore oil drilling
A loaded wagon makes no noise.
Proverb
Intelligence
Wisdom
Bragging
We can outsmart those dolphins. Don't forget – we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole,
and
the pudding cup.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence
TV/Movie Quotes
Dolphins
I've never been an intellectual, but I have this look.
Woody Allen
(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Appearance
Intelligence
Intellectual
Look
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
Man In The Street Law
Intelligence
Murphy’s Laws
People
Stupidity
Observation
One thing in which the sexes are equal is in thinking that they're not.
Franklin Jones
(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Intelligence
Men
People
Women
Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence
TV/Movie Quotes
Understanding
Apathy
The minute you read something that you can’t understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.
Will Rogers
(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Communication
Government
Intelligence
Law
Lawyers
Understanding
Facts are meaningless; you can use facts to prove anything that’s remotely true!
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence
TV/Movie Quotes
Facts
Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid.
Heinrich Heine
(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet
Intelligence
Stupidity
Insane
Engineers are all basically high-functioning autistics who have no idea how normal people do stuff.
Cory Doctorow
(1971 – ) Canadian blogger, journalist & science fiction author
Intelligence
People
Engineers
The next best thing to being clever is being able to quote someone who is.
Mary Pettibone Poole
author
Intelligence
Wisdom
Quote
The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.
William James
(1842 – 1910) American philosopher & psychologist
Intelligence
Wisdom
Yeah, she's beautiful, but you can't find her IQ with a flashlight.
From the TV series “The Greatest American Hero”
Appearance
Body
Insults
Intelligence
Beautiful
An Englishmen thinks seated; a Frenchmen standing; an American pacing, an Irishman, afterwards.
Austin O’Malley
(1858 – 1932) American physicist, physician & humorist
America
England
Intelligence
People
Thinking
France
Ireland
Everything can be solved through civilized dialogue and implied agony.
Maritza Campos
online cartoonist
Communication
Intelligence
Agony
Civilized dialogue
She was short on intellect, but long on shape.
Joseph Addison
(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician
Appearance
Body
Intelligence
Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education
Fools
Intelligence
Wisdom
Knowledge
All the unhappy marriages come from husbands having brains; what good are brains to a man? … they only unsettle him.
P.G. Wodehouse
(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Husbands
Intelligence
Marriage
Wisdom
I’m actually really intelligent; and I’m blonde, which is like… the trifecta.
Ingrid Elkner
comedian
Appearance
Intelligence
Blonde
Page 25 of 47
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