Intelligence | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Intelligence (Page 25)

Where ignorance is bliss it's foolish to borrow your neighbor's newspaper.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

What better way to head off more oil drilling, nuclear plants, than by blowing up a rig? … I'm just noting the timing, here.

(1951 – ) American conservative radio talk-show host

Intelligence Stupidity Suggesting that environmentalists deliberately blew up the oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico to stop offshore oil drilling

A loaded wagon makes no noise.

Proverb

Intelligence Wisdom Bragging

We can outsmart those dolphins. Don't forget – we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole, and the pudding cup.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes Dolphins

I've never been an intellectual, but I have this look.

Woody Allen

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Appearance Intelligence Intellectual Look

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Man In The Street Law

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People Stupidity Observation

One thing in which the sexes are equal is in thinking that they're not.

Franklin Jones

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist

Intelligence Men People Women

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes Understanding Apathy

The minute you read something that you can’t understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.

Will Rogers

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Communication Government Intelligence Law Lawyers Understanding

Facts are meaningless; you can use facts to prove anything that’s remotely true!

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes Facts

Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid.

Heinrich Heine

(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet

Intelligence Stupidity Insane

Engineers are all basically high-functioning autistics who have no idea how normal people do stuff.

Cory Doctorow

(1971 – ) Canadian blogger, journalist & science fiction author

Intelligence People Engineers

The next best thing to being clever is being able to quote someone who is.

Mary Pettibone Poole

author

Intelligence Wisdom Quote

The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.

William James

(1842 – 1910) American philosopher & psychologist

Intelligence Wisdom

Yeah, she's beautiful, but you can't find her IQ with a flashlight.

From the TV series “The Greatest American Hero”

Appearance Body Insults Intelligence Beautiful

An Englishmen thinks seated; a Frenchmen standing; an American pacing, an Irishman, afterwards.

Austin O’Malley

(1858 – 1932) American physicist, physician & humorist

America England Intelligence People Thinking France Ireland

Everything can be solved through civilized dialogue and implied agony.

Maritza Campos

online cartoonist

Communication Intelligence Agony Civilized dialogue

She was short on intellect, but long on shape.

Joseph Addison

(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician

Appearance Body Intelligence

Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.

Mark Twain

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Education Fools Intelligence Wisdom Knowledge

All the unhappy marriages come from husbands having brains; what good are brains to a man? … they only unsettle him.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Husbands Intelligence Marriage Wisdom

I’m actually really intelligent; and I’m blonde, which is like… the trifecta.

Ingrid Elkner

comedian

Appearance Intelligence Blonde

Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

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Subject: Intelligence (Page 25)

Where ignorance is bliss it's foolish to borrow your neighbor's newspaper.

What better way to head off more oil drilling, nuclear plants, than by blowing up a rig? … I'm just noting the timing, here.

A loaded wagon makes no noise.

We can outsmart those dolphins. Don't forget – we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole, and the pudding cup.

I've never been an intellectual, but I have this look.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

One thing in which the sexes are equal is in thinking that they're not.

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.

The minute you read something that you can’t understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.

Facts are meaningless; you can use facts to prove anything that’s remotely true!

Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid.

Engineers are all basically high-functioning autistics who have no idea how normal people do stuff.

The next best thing to being clever is being able to quote someone who is.

The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.

Yeah, she's beautiful, but you can't find her IQ with a flashlight.

An Englishmen thinks seated; a Frenchmen standing; an American pacing, an Irishman, afterwards.

Everything can be solved through civilized dialogue and implied agony.

She was short on intellect, but long on shape.

Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.

All the unhappy marriages come from husbands having brains; what good are brains to a man? … they only unsettle him.

I’m actually really intelligent; and I’m blonde, which is like… the trifecta.