Subject: Intelligence (Page 31)

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Intelligence Mind People Self

A committee can make a decision that is dumber than any of its members.


Intelligence People

I see the pain on your face when you say the word intellectual, because it has so many syllables in it.

(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist
Insults Intelligence

I wonder what goes through [your dog’s] mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl.

American writer
Animals Dogs Intelligence Thinking

The trouble ain't that people are ignorant; it's that they know so much that ain't so.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Intelligence People

The best way to inspire fresh thoughts is to seal the letter.


Communication Ideas Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.

(1885 – 1962) Danish physicist
Communication Thinking

I had to go back to New York recently for a family reunion… I walk in there, I look at everyone, and I think: 'I'm getting my tubes tied; that's it; the tree ends here.'

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Intelligence Relationships

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Intelligence Mind

Homosexuality is God’s way of ensuring that the truly gifted aren’t burdened with children.

comedian, composer & lyricist
Characteristics Children Intelligence People

If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Intelligence Life

According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Intelligence Problems

Everyone has the right to be stupid but you’re abusing the priviledge.

Insults Intelligence

There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed and blissfully unaware.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Characteristics Intelligence

To all you hunters who kill animals for food, shame on you; you ought to go to the store and buy the meat that was made there, where no animals were harmed.

Classifieds Misspokements Stupidity

I once said Gazza's [Paul Gascoigne] IQ was less than his shirt number and he asked me: "What's an IQ?"

(1946 – 2005) Irish professional football player
Intelligence

The distance between many people’s ears is a block.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Intelligence

A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his mouth.

Fools Murphy’s Laws Wisdom

You might be a redneck if… you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said "concentrate."

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Intelligence People Rednecks

The first requisite of intelligent tinkering is to save all the pieces.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Things

If he's so smart, how come he's dead?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes