Subject: Life

I'm the kind of guy who will have nothing all my life and then they'll discover oil while they're digging my grave.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Death Life Money Wealth

We all learn by experience, but some of us have to go to summer school.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
Education Learning Life School

Capital punishment is our way of demonstrating the sanctity of life.

(1934 – ) U.S. senator (Utah)
Death Life

Spiritual is the word people use when they mean they want to be covered when they die but they’re not getting up early on a Sunday.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Death Life

I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Future Life Time

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.

Age Life Old

We must believe in free will… we have no choice.

(1902 – 1991) Polish Jewish American author
Beliefs Life

I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Honesty Life Situations

Much work, much food; little work, little food; no work, burial at sea.

Food/Drink Life Murphy’s Laws Work

I know the world isn’t fair, but why isn’t it ever unfair in my favor?

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Characteristics Life World

I’m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

(1894 – 1962) American poet, painter, essayist, author & playwright
Life Money

I’d like the window that says “Are you sure you want to do this? “OK/Cancel” to pop up less often on my computer and more in my real life.

Life Science/Weather

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older… little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman—stuff you pay good money for in later life.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Age Life Sex

Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again… Great, I’ll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Life Situations TV/Movie Quotes

If I can’t have it all, can I at least have some of yours?

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Life Situations

I recommend you to take care of the minutes, for the hours will take care of themselves.

Lord Chesterfield (1694 – 1773) British statesman
Life Time

I intend to live forever… or die trying.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Death Life

If I had known what it would be like to have it all… I might have been willing to settle for less.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Life

My life has a superb cast but I can’t figure out the plot.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Life

There are three things in life that people like to stare at: a flowing stream, a crackling fire and a Zamboni clearing the ice.

cartoon character, Peanuts, Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000) cartoonist
Life

My psychiatrist once said to me, “Maybe life isn't for everyone.”

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Life Self