Subject: Life

When opportunity knocks, you’ve got headphones on.

I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

I’m kind of jealous of the life I’m supposedly leading.

(1975 – ) actor, director, screenwriter & producer

If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”

I don’t want to live on in my work, I want to live on in my apartment.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Millions long for immortality who don’t know what to do on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

(1894 – 1985) British fiction writer

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can’t suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

Nothing is easy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Jill a rich widow.

(1899 – 1995) humorist

It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks.

(1841–1919) French artist

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.

(Sholem Naumovich Rabinovich) (1859 – 1916) Jewish author & humorist

The harsh truth is that the cause of death is birth.

(1937 – ) English painter, printmaker, stage designer & photographer

Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

Drama is life with the dull bits left out.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

(1932 – 2005) Canadian actor

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.

(1914 – 1997) American writer

We’re all going down the same road in different directions.

Life: A continuous series of disasters which result in one’s death.