Subject: Life (Page 11)

Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

I don’t live in the fast lane – I live on the off ramp.

(1925 – 1990) Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager

Coach: Hey Norm, how’s the world been treating you?

Norm: Like a baby treats a diaper.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

I try to live by the adage: “You scratch my back; I’ll let you know when to stop.”

(1904 – 1973) English novelist & biographer

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

When someone follows you all the way to the shop and watches you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed.

(1969 – ) American actress, film director & producer

What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of high living.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

If you live long enough, something will kill you.

We’re all going down the same road in different directions.

Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade… and then throw it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the oranges you originally asked for.

(1973 – ) American author of young adult fiction,

If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist

Remember you are just an extra in everyone else’s play.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president

The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the devil’s own satanic herd!

(1955 – ) English actor

My New Year’s Resolution for 2010? … I will be less laz

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor

No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.

(Sholem Naumovich Rabinovich) (1859 – 1916) Jewish author & humorist

If you stop eating donuts you will live three years longer; it’s just three more years that you want a donut.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright

I think I’ve discovered the secret of life – you just hang around until you get used to it.

cartoon character, Peanuts (Charles Schulz, 1922 – 2000) creator & cartoonist

Nothing is easy.

Life: A play with a lousy third act.

Have fun; and go home when you’re tired.

(1887 – 1995) American theater produce, director & playwright, screenwriter & film director