Subject: Life (Page 7)

Death: Life’s way of telling you you’ve been fired.

Death Definitions Life

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Communication Intelligence Life Places Science/Weather

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Intelligence Life People

Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.

(1899 – 1986) American writer, journalist & cartoonist
Life

Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Death Life Men People Time

When you're born, you have a finger up your nose, the other hand on your dick, and you get taller; and that is really it.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Life Men People

I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there.

(1916 – 1997) newspaper journalist
Life Past Time

As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex… except for salami and eggs; now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Eating Food/Drink Life Sex

I believe in reincarnation, so I’ve left all my money to myself.

(1943 – ) English disc jockey
Death Life

Life is something you do when you can’t get to sleep.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Life Situations Sleep

It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks.

(1841–1919) French artist
Food/Drink Life Murphy’s Laws

When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

(1923 – 1999) American satirical novelist, short story writer & playwright
Age Life

Since we have to speak well of the dead, let's knock them while they're alive.

(1871 – 1951) American artist
Communication Death Life People

My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I’m happy; I can't figure it out…. what am I doing right?

cartoon character in, Peanuts, by Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000)
Life

Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty… but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Life

The three things that mean the most to me in life are my parents, Casablanca and college football – not necessarily in that order.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Life Things

Sam: How’s life in the fast lane?

Norm: Beats me, I can’t find the on ramp.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Life TV/Movie Quotes

Much work, much food; little work, little food; no work, burial at sea.

Food/Drink Life Murphy’s Laws Work

Anybody who tells you that life is brief hasn’t been to motor vehicles recently.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Life Time

No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.

(Sholem Naumovich Rabinovich) (1859 – 1916) Jewish author & humorist
Life

Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.

Carl Sandburg (1878 – 1967) biographer & poet
Life