Subject: Marriage (Page 19)

Alimony: the ransom the happy pay to the devil.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Divorce Marriage

Marriage is a mistake every man should make.

(1898 – 1981) actor, singer, songwriter & movie producer
Marriage Men Mistakes

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

(1954 – ) Indian Professor of Journalism
Husbands Marriage Wives

I used to have a speech impediment, but we got divorced.

(1926 – 1988) American cartoonist (The Lockhorns)
Communication Divorce Marriage Speech Wives

Two mothers-in-law.

(1832 – 1900) Lord Chief Justice of England & Wales
Marriage

You might be a redneck if… you think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Things Wives

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy: first, let her think she's having her own way, and second, let her have it.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Emotions Happiness Marriage Wives

Alimony: The screwing you get for the screwing you got.

Definitions Marriage

If you go to war pray once; if you go on a sea journey pray twice; but pray three times when you are going to be married.

Marriage Proverbs

Brides aren’t happy – they are triumphant.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
Marriage

After the chills and fever of love, how nice is the 98.6º of marriage!

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Marriage

If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable.

(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician
Marriage

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Animals Divorce Marriage Money

I know not which lives more unnatural lives, obeying husbands, or commanding wives.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Husbands Life Marriage Wives

Don’t marry a man to reform him; that’s what reform schools are for.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Marriage Men School

Bachelor: A man who can get out of bed from either side.

Definitions Marriage Men People

In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Marriage

Wife: A former sweetheart.

Definitions Marriage

Jess: Marriages don’t break up on account of infidelity. It’s just a symptom that something else is wrong.

Harry: Oh really? Well, that “symptom” is fucking my wife.

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director
Marriage

My husband could have had any women he pleased – he just couldn't please any!

Husbands Marriage Women

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.

Autos Marriage Things Wives