Subject: Marriage (Page 20)

Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Marriage Money Work

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

Conflict Marriage War

The other day my wife asked me to take her someplace real expensive to eat, so I took her to the airport.

stand-up comedian
Eating Food/Drink Marriage Wives

I told my doctor I think my wife has V.D.; he gave himself a shot of penicillin.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Health Marriage Wives

Why go out for milk when you've got a cow at home.

(1946 – ) American actor
Marriage Sex TV/Movie Quotes

After you say you do… you don’t… for a long time.

(1964 – ) Colombian-American actor, producer, playwright & screenwriter
Marriage Sex

One good husband is worth two good wives for the scarcer things are, the more they’re valued.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Husbands Marriage Wives

My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Death Husbands Mothers

My wife converted me to religion; I never believed in hell until I married her.

(1892 – 1992) American film & television producer & director
Beliefs Marriage Religion Wives

What was I thinking when I said “I do”? I’d already had sex with her; I didn’t need that again.

(1946 – ) American actor
Marriage Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Marriage Relationships Wives

Vanessa: You have no class, Thornton, and I am tired of it! I want a divorce.

Melon: Divorce. I knew we had something in common.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Divorce Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

A man is incomplete until he is married; after that, he is finished.

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Marriage Men People

The desire to get married is a basic and primal instinct in women; it's followed by another basic and primal instinct: the desire to be single again.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Marriage

Year: The exact length of time that will pass from the day you get married to the day you forget your first anniversary.

Definitions Marriage Time

Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Marriage People

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Children Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

Will you take this woman to be your awful wedded wife?

(1914 – 1953) Welsh-born poet & writer
Communication Marriage Wordplay

Mixed doubles are always starting divorces. If you play with your wife, you fight with her. If you play with somebody else, she fights with you.

American professional tennis player
Marriage Sports

If we men married the women we deserved, we should have a very bad time of it.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Marriage Men People Women

One of life’s greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn’t good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world.

Children Family Marriage Proverbs