Subject: Marriage (Page 22)

Marriage is better than leprosy because it’s easier to get rid of.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Marriage

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

Marriage

Hovering between wife and death.

(1771 – 1854) Scottish writer
Marriage Wives

Many a necklace becomes a noose.

(1888 – 1982) American writer
Dating Marriage Men People Relationships Women

France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are made in America.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Divorce Marriage Places

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.

(1952 – ) comedian
Marriage People Self

Bigamist: A man who who has had one too many.

Definitions Marriage

[My husband] and I are always fighting; when we get up in the morning, we don't kiss; we touch gloves.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Conflict Marriage Problems

Every American woman has two souls to call her own, the other being her husband's.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Husbands Marriage Wives

The snapshots you take of your husband are always more flattering than the ones he takes of you.

Husbands Murphy’s Laws Self Things Wives

I'm single now, and it's really weird for me to be dating again because, for the last three years, I've just been cheating.

American comedian
Dating Divorce Marriage Relationships

Wife Regrets Staying With Man She Killed

Conflict Headlines Wives

Getting married is like buying a new horse, or going into a strange saloon.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

It is a truth universally acknowledge, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

(1775 – 1817) English novelist
Money Wives

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Characteristics Husbands Marriage Wives

Widow: A woman who knows her husband’s whereabouts at all times.

Definitions Marriage

Once in a restaurant I made a toast to her… “The best woman a man ever had”… the waiter joined me.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Wives

Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?

Expressions Marriage

Because if it doesn't work out, I don't want to blow the whole day.

American football player
Football Marriage Sports

Alimony: A splitting headache.

Definitions Marriage

My sister just got married; I was the maid of debt in that little event.

(1965 – ) American comedian
Marriage Money Relationships