Subject: Marriage (Page 21)

Wife Swapping: Sexual fourplay.

Definitions Marriage Sex Wordplay

Husband: One who stands by you in troubles you wouldn’t have had if you hadn’t married him.

Definitions Marriage

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Marriage Men People

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Activities Husbands Marriage Relationships Sleep Things Wives

Whenever I get married, I start buying Gourmet magazine.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Communication Marriage Reading/Writing

If it weren’t for marriage, husband and wives would have to fight with strangers.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Conflict Fights Marriage

It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Marriage People Women

Remarriage is an excellent test of just how amicable your divorce was.

(1954 – 2000) humorist, writer & radio commentator
Divorce Marriage

I heard from my cat’s lawyer today; my cat wants $12,000 a week for Tender Vittles.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Divorce Marriage

Alimony is a system by which, when two people make a mistake, one of them continues to pay for it.

(1893 – 1957) American actress & celebrity
Marriage Mistakes Money

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Marriage Wives

Will you take this woman to be your awful wedded wife?

(1914 – 1953) Welsh-born poet & writer
Communication Marriage Wordplay

Marry an outdoors woman; then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Marriage People Women

My wife has to be the worst cook; her specialty is indigestion.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink Health Wives

Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Marriage People

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it’s around the woman’s neck.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Marriage

In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Marriage

A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.

(1948 – 1990) comedian
Divorce Marriage Time Wives

Married or Single? … there is no good choice; it’s like when your doctor says, ‘Ointment?' or ‘Suppositories’?

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Husbands Marriage Sex

Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Marriage Men People Women