Subject: Marriage (Page 31)

Honeymoon Sandwich: Just lettuce alone, with no dressing.

Definitions Marriage

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Education Marriage School

I support gay marriage because I believe they have a right to be just as miserable as the rest of us.

(1944 – ) American singer, songwriter, novelist, humorist, politician & columnist
Marriage

Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Marriage Wives

If you think your marriage is perfect, you’re probably still at your reception.

(1951 – ) American author, playwright & lyricist
Marriage

Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucini restaurant in the first place.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Marriage

Someone asked me recently – what would I rather give up, food or sex; neither! … I'm not falling for that one again, Wife!

(1980 – ) English comedian & novelist
Food/Drink Marriage Sex

I'm 34 years old; I thought I'd be divorced by now.

American comedian
Age Divorce Marriage

I never mind my wife having the last word; in fact, I’m delighted when she gets to it.

(1920 – 2000) American actor
Communication Marriage Speech Wives

My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctor’s office and make people sick.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Appearance Health Husbands Marriage Ugly

I’ve been married to one Marxist and one fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

(1927 – ) American actress
Husbands Marriage People

When a husband brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.

Marian Jordan (1898 – 1961) American radio comedian (of Fibber McGee & Molly)
Husbands Marriage Wives

My husband could have had any women he pleased – he just couldn't please any!

Husbands Marriage Women

Marriage is better than leprosy because it’s easier to get rid of.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Marriage

It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.

(1958 – ) standup comedian, actor, game show host & photographer
Marriage Sex

Altar: To change through marriage.

Definitions Marriage

Satan probably wouldn’t have talked so big if God had been his wife.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Marriage Wives

One of my favorite oxymorons is engagement party.

writer, website creator
Marriage Sex

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

Conflict Marriage War

Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Marriage

Wedding Ring: A one-man band.

Definitions Marriage