Subject: Marriage (Page 33)

Catherine: Your wife is really lucky.

Frasier: Well, I’m sure she’d say the same thing, especially now that our marriage is over.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

Insanity: Grounds for divorce in some states; grounds for marriage in all

Definitions Marriage

Honeymoon Sandwich: Just lettuce alone, with no dressing.

Definitions Marriage

You might be a redneck if… your state's got a new law that says when a couple get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Divorce Marriage People Rednecks Relationships

Spouse: Someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.

Definitions Marriage

Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Marriage Money Work

Hovering between wife and death.

(1771 – 1854) Scottish writer
Marriage Wives

The Three Ages of Marriage: Twenty is when you watch the TV after; Forty is when you watch the TV during; Sixty is when you watch the TV instead.

Entertainment Marriage Sex Television

Bigamist: A man who keeps two himself.

Definitions Marriage

The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount spent on the wedding.

Marriage Money Murphy’s Laws Time

How it Works: The Wife

Book Titles Marriage Wives

Love is blind… but marriage is the real eye-opener.

Emotions Love Marriage

As soon as they get married, they all get these big old guts on them; that's not from drinking beer – that's from swallowing pride.

stand-up comedian
Alcohol Body Fat Husbands Marriage Men People

Widow: A woman who knows her husband’s whereabouts at all times.

Definitions Marriage

If love means never having to say you're sorry, then marriage means always having to say everything twice.

(1924 – 2008) American actress
Communication Marriage Speech

A fate worse than marriage; a sort of eternal engagement.

(1939 – ) English playwright
Marriage

Marriage is like a bank account: you put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.

(1914 – ) American comic & actor
Marriage

I was married twice; my first wife died and my second one wouldn't.

(1955 – ) American comedian
Death Marriage

Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Marriage Sex

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.

Communication Marriage Speech Wives

Middle-age is the time of life, that a man first notices – in his wife.

(1906 – 1989) American poet & author
Age Marriage Wives