Subject: Marriage (Page 5)

And for the record, all marriages are same sex marriages; you get married, and every night, it’s the same sex.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Marriage Sex Wordplay

Marriage always demands the finest arts of insincerity possible between two human beings."

(1888 – 1960) Austrian writer
Characteristics Marriage

Adultery: Putting yourself in someone else’s position.

Marriage Sex

Monogamy leaves a lot to be desired.

Marriage

Presidents don’t do it to their wives; they do it to their country.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Activities Government President Sex Wives

Marriage is the price men pay for sex, sex is the price women pay for marriage.

Marriage Men People Sex Women

I’ve been married four years now and it’s getting pretty serious.

American comedian
Marriage

Middle-age is the time of life, that a man first notices – in his wife.

(1906 – 1989) American poet & author
Age Marriage Wives

My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Divorce Marriage Money

I’ve had bad luck with both my wives; the first one left me and the second one didn’t.

(1956 – ) English actor
Marriage Wives

The snapshots you take of your husband are always more flattering than the ones he takes of you.

Husbands Murphy’s Laws Self Things Wives

Everyone talks about dead-beat dads; what about the kids who just aren’t worth the child support?

American comedian & writer
Children Divorce Family Marriage

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

Conflict Housework Husbands Marriage Proverbs

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

American entrepreneur & author
Intelligence Marriage Memory Wives

How it Works: The Wife

Book Titles Marriage Wives

A bachelor can only chase a girl until she catches him.

Marriage Men Murphy’s Laws People Women

I told my doctor I think my wife has V.D.; he gave himself a shot of penicillin.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Health Marriage Wives

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

(1533 – 1592) French writer
Marriage

The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount spent on the wedding.

Marriage Money Murphy’s Laws Time

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

Definitions Marriage

Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Marriage Men People Women