Subject: Money (Page 17)

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

Intelligence Money Stupidity Wealth

We didn't actually overspend our budget; the allocation simply fell short of our expenditure.

Money

If you think that education is expensive, try ignorance.

(1930 – ) American lawyer & educator
Education Intelligence Money

My sister just got married; I was the maid of debt in that little event.

(1965 – ) American comedian
Marriage Money Relationships

When a feller says, ‘It hain’t the money, but the principle o’ th’ thing’, it’s the money.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Money

BREAKING: Mitt Romney will embark on a three-nation foreign trip to visit his money.

(1958 – ) American writer, comedian, satirist & actor
Money Wealth

He breathes through his nose to keep from wearing out his teeth.

Expressions Frugal

My wife donates money to the homeless and I donate money to the topless.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Money Wives

When you drop change at a vending machine, the pennies will fall nearby, while all the other coins will roll out of sight.

Money Murphy’s Laws

The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Communication Money Reading/Writing

I need money… I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Wealth

The Catholic Church is still very angry about The Da Vinci Code… they don’t like anything that makes more money in a weekend than they do.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Entertainment Film Money

The most efficient labor-saving device is still money.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Money

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Animals Divorce Marriage Money

A hotel mini-bar allows you to see into the future and what a can of Pepsi will cost in 2020.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
Food/Drink Future Money Time

The compromise will always be more expensive than either of the suggestions it's compromising.

Money Murphy’s Laws

The more heavily a man is supposed to be taxed, the more power he has to escape being taxed.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes

Deficit: What you have when you don’t have as much as if you had nothing.

Definitions Money

It ain't no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Money Poverty

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Language Money

The trouble with the profit system has always been that it was highly unprofitable to most people.

(1899 – 1985) US author & humorist
Money People