Subject: Money (Page 4)

A financier is a pawnbroker with imagination.

(1855 – 1934) English dramatist

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.

(1909 – 1959) Australian-born American actor

Well I don't know which one has more money but I'll tell you what… either one could burn a wet mule with hundred dollar bills.

American auto racer

I was so poor… in my neighborhood, the rainbow was in black and white!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

There is nothing so disastrous as a rational investment policy in an irrational world.

(1883 – 1946) English economist

People who can least afford to pay rent, pay rent; people who can most afford to pay rent, build up equity.

The compromise will always be more expensive than either of the suggestions it's compromising.

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.


I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet

People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year; they don’t realize that most of us only make $500,000.00.

professional baseball player

Scientists who dislike the restraints of highly organized research like to remark that a truly great research worker needs only three pieces of equipment – a pencil, a piece of paper, and a brain… but they quote this maxim more often at academic banquets than at budget hearings.

I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it.

Find out the cost before you get in.

A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

The dollar will never fall as low as what some people will do to get it.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Nowadays, an after-dinner mint is what you need to pay the restaurant check.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian