Subject: Money (Page 4)

There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil.

(1892 – 1976) oil industrialist (once world’s richest man)

You never want the one you can afford.

The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.

(1918 – 2002) advice columnist

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

(1869 – 1944) Canadian economist & humorist

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

(1933 – 1997) Anglo-French billionaire financier

What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man?

cartoon character in, The Simpsons (Harry Shearer)

I didn’t have sex at all, not a scrap til I was 67… and that was cause I had no small change for the window cleaner.

(1953 – 2016) British comedian, actress, singer & screenwriter

Tradition is what you resort to when you don’t have the time or the money to do it right.

(1905 – 1988) Austrian-born American conductor

Inflation: When nobody has enough money because everybody has too much.

Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

If the shoe fits, it's too expensive.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker

There are plenty of good five cent cigars in the country… the trouble is they cost a quarter.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist

A financier is a pawnbroker with imagination.

(1855 – 1934) English dramatist

Some couples go over their budgets very carefully every month; others just go over them.


France is a place where the money falls apart in your hands but you cannot tear the toilet paper.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer

Money is something you got to make in case you don’t die.

(? – 1968) Russian-American, founder of New York’s famed Stage Deli

I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout; that's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money.

(1956 – 2016) American stand-up comedian & actor

How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

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