Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 27)

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If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you may have misjudged the situation.

Military Murphy’s Laws

There are more horses’ asses in this world than there are horses.

Animals Murphy’s Laws People

The remaining distance to your chosen campsite remains constant as twilight approaches.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

In every organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on… and this person must be fired.

Murphy’s Laws People Situations

1. If it should exist, it doesn't.
2. If it does exist, it's out of date.
3. Only documentation for useless programs transcends the first two laws.

Murphy’s Laws

The quantity which must be multiplied by, divided by, added to or subtracted from the answer you get to give the answer you should have got.

Murphy’s Laws

If you run into an old girlfriend – no matter how innocently – your wife will know about it before you get home.

Husbands Marriage Murphy’s Laws Wives

The ideal resume will turn up one day after the position is filled.

Murphy’s Laws Work

The wages of sin are unreported.

Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes

To make an enemy, do someone a favor.

Murphy’s Laws People Situations

Everything happens at the same time with nothing in between.

Murphy’s Laws Situations Time

The volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases.

(1938 – ) U.S. governor (California) & politician
Murphy’s Laws Work

A block grant is a solid mass of money surrounded on all sides by governors.

Money Murphy’s Laws Politicians

Mankind is divisible into two great classes: hosts and guests.

Murphy’s Laws People

Anything that happens enough times to irritate you will happen at least once more.

Murphy’s Laws

If you have something to do and you put it off for long enough, the chances are someone else will do it for you.

Murphy’s Laws Time

If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it.

Murphy’s Laws

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Murphy’s Laws People

A consultant may be defined as an unemployed practitioner.

Murphy’s Laws

The amount of wind will vary inversely with the number and experience of the people you take on board.

Murphy’s Laws Sports

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success