Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 44)

The organization of any bureaucracy is very much like a septic tank. The really big chunks always rise to the top.

Imhoff’s Law

Murphy’s Laws (John Imhoff) Bureaucracy

The inevitable result of improved and enlarged communications between different levels in a hierarchy is a vastly increased area of misunderstanding.

Law of Communications

Communication Murphy’s Laws

If only two cars are left in a vast parking lot, one will be blocking the other.

Dale's Parking Postulate

Autos Murphy’s Laws Things Parking

If you are forward of your position, the artillery will fall short.

A Murphy's Military Law

Military Murphy’s Laws Artillery

An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.

Peter's Placebo

Appearance Murphy’s Laws Success Image Performance

Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone.

Anonymous Murphy’s Law

Golf Murphy’s Laws People Sports

The only people making money these days are the ones who sell computer paper.

Wain's Conclusion

Computers Money Murphy’s Laws Things

How to locate the slow-moving traffic lane or check-out land: Get in it.

Sprehe’s Discovery

Autos Murphy’s Laws Situations Things Christopher Sprehe Traffic

If you have enough meetings over a long enough period of time, the meetings become more important than the problem the meetings were intended to solve.

Hendrickson’s Law

Murphy’s Laws (E. R. Hendrickson) Meetings

The higher the “higher-ups“ are who've come to see your demo, the lower your chances are of giving a successful one.

Deadline-Dan's Demo Demonstration

Murphy’s Laws People Success Demonstrations Importance

A committee is the only life form with 12 stomachs and no brain.

Kirby's Comment on Committee

Murphy’s Laws People Committees

On the TV screen, pure drivel tends to drive off ordinary drivel.

Kitman's Law

Communication Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Speech Television Drivel

If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Lowery's Law

Accidents Failure Murphy’s Laws

20% of the customers account for 80% of the turnover, 20% of the components account for 80% of the cost, and so forth.

Pareto's Law (The 20/80 Law)

Murphy’s Laws Business Customers

Never program and drink beer at the same time.

Woltman's Law

Alcohol Beer Computers Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Things

You get the most of what you need the least.

Law of Gifts

Murphy’s Laws Things Gifts

A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.

Dyer's Law

Murphy’s Laws Paperwork

Confusion creates jobs.

Hoffstedt's Employment Principle

Murphy’s Laws Work Confusion Employment

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 44)

If there is a wrong thing to say, one will.

The more money the free agent signs for, the less effective he is the following season.

The organization of any bureaucracy is very much like a septic tank. The really big chunks always rise to the top.

The inevitable result of improved and enlarged communications between different levels in a hierarchy is a vastly increased area of misunderstanding.

If only two cars are left in a vast parking lot, one will be blocking the other.

If you are forward of your position, the artillery will fall short.

An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.

Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone.

The only people making money these days are the ones who sell computer paper.

How to locate the slow-moving traffic lane or check-out land: Get in it.

If you have enough meetings over a long enough period of time, the meetings become more important than the problem the meetings were intended to solve.

The higher the “higher-ups“ are who've come to see your demo, the lower your chances are of giving a successful one.

A committee is the only life form with 12 stomachs and no brain.

On the TV screen, pure drivel tends to drive off ordinary drivel.

If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

20% of the customers account for 80% of the turnover, 20% of the components account for 80% of the cost, and so forth.

Never program and drink beer at the same time.

You get the most of what you need the least.

A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.

Confusion creates jobs.