Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 47)

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If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.

Murphy’s Laws

1. Giving away baby clothes and furniture is a major cause of pregnancy. 2. Always be backlit. 3. Sit down whenever possible.

Appearance Murphy’s Laws Situations

A little ignorance can go a long way.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Stupidity

Authority tends to assign jobs to those least able to do them.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

Speak with authority; however, expound only on the obvious and proven facts.

Murphy’s Laws

The minute you sign a client is the minute you start to lose him.

Murphy’s Laws

It's easier to be a liberal a long way from home.

Murphy’s Laws

In a bureaucracy, good ideas go to too far.

Murphy’s Laws

If at first you don't succeed, transform your data set.

Murphy’s Laws Success

It is a mistake to let any mechanical object realize that you are in a hurry.

Murphy’s Laws Things Time

Grass growing from sidewalk cracks never turns brown.

Murphy’s Laws

All committee reports conclude that “it is not prudent to change the policy (or procedure, or organization, or whatever) at this time.”

Murphy’s Laws People

The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes

1. Never arrive on time, or you will be stamped a beginner.
2. Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise.
3. Be as vague as possible; this prevents irritating the others.
4. When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
5. Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular – it's what everyone is waiting for.

Murphy’s Laws

Children should be heard, not obscene.

Children Murphy’s Laws

There is more law in the end of a policeman’s nightstick than in a decision of the Supreme Court.

Government Law Murphy’s Laws

The correct advice to give is the advice that is desired.

Murphy’s Laws Opinion

No matter what goes wrong, it will probably look right.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

1. A rolling stone gathers momentum.
2. Progress is nondirectional.

Murphy’s Laws

If you start walking, the bus will come when you are precisely halfway between stops.

Murphy’s Laws

Don't ever eat yellow snow.

Murphy’s Laws