Subject: People » Friends

May God defend me from my friends; I can defend myself from my enemies.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist

Money can’t buy friends, but it can get you a better class of enemy.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright

Friendship is not possible between two women, one of whom is very well dressed.

(1944 – 1992) American author

I’m a controversial figure: my friends either dislike me or hate me.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor

A friend in need is a pest.

(1925 – ) English actor

Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

I have three kinds of friends: those who love me, those who pay no attention to me, and those who detest me.

(1741 – 1794) French writer

Even when I was a kid, my imaginary friend would play with the kid across the street.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host

When a man’s best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist

I'm not buddy-buddy with the players. If they need a buddy, let them buy a dog.

(1931 – ) American baseball player & manager

Friend: A good friend is like a good bra… hard to find, supportive, comfortable, and always close to your heart.

Have you ever thought about registering as a sex offender just so your friends won’t bring their kids over to your house?

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor

When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. a best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun.’

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Every time I paint a portrait I lose a friend.

(1856 – 1925) American artist & portrait painter

Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.

A lifelong friend is one you haven't borrowed money from yet.

(1914 – 1953) Welsh-born poet & writer

Friend: A person who listens attentively while you say nothing.

He's a fine friend; he stabs you in the front.

(1904 – 1974) American author & radio producer

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet