Subject: People » Men (Page 6)

No nice men are good at getting taxis.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist

I know what men want; men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

(1952 – ) comedian

Men have as exaggerated an idea of their rights as women have of their wrongs.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor

Men who drink herbal teas are seldom serial killers.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Women love scallywags, but some marry them and then try to make them wear a blazer.

(1938 – ) English fashion & portrait photographer

Men have two emotions: hungry and horny; if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is already in the company of: 1. a date, 2.his wife, 3. a better looking and richer male friend.

Even a sixty-year-old man with no arms thinks he could play in the Super Bowl if he had to.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

A birth-control pill for men, that's fair. It makes more sense to take the bullets out of the gun than to wear a bulletproof vest.

American actor & comedian

When a man goes on a date, he wonders if he is going to get lucky… a woman already knows.

Man forgives woman anything save the wit to outwit him.

(1861 – 1950) American writer

Man has his will, but woman has her way.

(1809 – 1894) physician, professor, lecturer & author

In a relationship you have to communicate, which means listening to her talk… ladies, you fake orgasms… we fake listening.

(1962 – ) American comedian & actor

Penis: Part of the male anatomy which contains the brain.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Beware of men who cry; it's true that men who cry are sensitive to and in touch with feelings, but the only feelings they tend to be sensitive to and in touch with are their own.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director

Men get laid, but women get screwed.

(1908 – 1999) English writer

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage – they' ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Real men don’t use instructions, son; besides, this is just the manufacturer’s opinion on how to put this together.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor

Don't keep a man guessing too long… he's sure to find the answer somewhere else.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place.

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director