Subject: People » Men (Page 9)

Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter

Dancing is a wonderful training for girls, it’s the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

You guys have it so easy; you don't shave: it's sexy, it's a turn-on; we don't shave: it's birth control.

stand-up comedian

When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight; when a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

All men are animals, but some make better pets than others.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?

When four or more men get together, they talk about sports; when four or more women get together, they talk about men.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Y Chromosome: A line of genes designed for men only.

The man has not been born for whom I will iron a shirt.

(1939 – ) English actress

Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist

Men are like textbooks: you have to spend a lot of time between the covers to gain a small amount of satisfaction.

I have the woman-flu, which is like the manflu but worse because I also regularly have periods and I get paid less.

Danish comedian

The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is already in the company of: 1. a date, 2.his wife, 3. a better looking and richer male friend.

Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible.

(1901 – 1978) anthropologist

I like men who have a future and women who have a past.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

Never underestimate a man’s ability to underestimate a woman.

(1954 – ) American actress

A bachelor can only chase a girl until she catches him.

Men who drink herbal teas are seldom serial killers.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer