Subject: People (Page 115)

X Chromosome: a genetic double-cross that empowers women with the ability to bear children and reserves for men the right to be color-blind hemophiliacs.

Definitions Men People

Is a narcissist’s suicide a crime of passion?


People Self

Trust me, ladies, if you knew even for a second how we men really look at you, you would never stop slapping us.

(1953 – ) American comedian, actor, voice artist, & columnist
Men People Sex Women

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Emotions Things Women

Ten thousand women marched through the streets of London saying 'we will not be dictated to,' and then went off to become stenographers.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
People Politics Situations Women

A consultant is someone you pay a hundred-dollars-an-hour to give you the same advice you ignore from your assistant.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Occupations People Work

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Lies People Truth

His big thing now is we’ve got to get these evildoers… sounds like we’re living in a giant episode of ‘Scooby Doo.’

(1973 – ) American stand-up comedian
People

I am free of all prejudices; I hate everyone equally.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Characteristics People

Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Parents People

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don’t seem to know what real pain is; I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Emotions Men Success Women

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Democracy Government Individuals President

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

(1925 – 2005) television host
New York City People Places

People seldom become famous for what they say until after they are famous for what they've done.

(1923 – ) American quote & quip writer
People Speech Success

Militant feminists, I take my hat off to them, they don’t like that.

(1964 – ) English comedian
Appearance Clothing People Women

Wearing a turtleneck is like getting strangled by a really weak guy all day.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing People

[Dan] Quayle thinks Roe vs. Wade are two ways to cross the Potomac.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
People

It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Art Money People

I went to Boston College; it’s a Catholic college, yeah I had a nickname there: Jew.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
People Self

No matter what goes wrong, there’s always someone who will say he knew it would.

Murphy’s Laws People Problems

I’m a controversial figure: my friends either dislike me or hate me.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Friends Old People Self