Subject: People (Page 120)

It's our fault… we should have given him better parts.

(1892 – 1978) Canadian-American film producer (Warner Brothers)
Acting Government People

Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Appearance Clothing Men People Women

If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget, he didn't lose your number, he didn't die… he just didn't want to call you.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Communication Men People

The more one gets to know of men, the more one values dogs.

(1803 – 1885) French writer & journalist
Animals Dogs People

The Mexicans… these tiny little men from South America.

British sports commentator
Boxing Misspokements People Sports

Optimist: A middle-aged man who believes that the cleaners have been shrinking the waistband of his pants.

Body Characteristics Definitions People

Oaf: An old fashioned jerk.

Definitions People

Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public; they can learn in private; in public they have to know.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Learning Men People

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Marriage People Wives

Girls are like pianos… when they're not upright, they're grand.

(1924 – 1992) English comedian & actor
Girls People Women

When having my portrait painted I don’t want justice, I want mercy.

(1862 – 1952) Australian Prime Minister & politician
Art Entertainment Self

You might be a redneck if… your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment Music People Rednecks

A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Alcohol Food/Drink People

There's one way to find out if a man is honest – ask him… if he says, “Yes,” you know he is a crook.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Characteristics Honesty People

Til I was nine, my mother was still trying to get an abortion.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
People Self

Why should I do anything for posterity? … what has posterity ever done for me?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Future People Time

My ancestors didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the boat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
History People Things Time

No matter how much you give a homeless person for a cup of tea, you never get that cup of tea.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
People

A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times.


Intelligence Men People Self Sex

Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Age People Understanding

Greater love hath no man than this, to lay down his friends for his life.

(1929 – ) British politician
Friends Insults