Subject: People (Page 119)

Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

People

Neurotic: Someone who worries about things that didn’t happen in the past instead of worrying about things that won’t happen in the future.

Definitions People

Creativity varies inversely with the number of cooks involved with the broth.

Murphy’s Laws People

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
People

Women want to be treated as equals, not sequels.

(1958 – ) Australian author
People Women

I have everything now I had twenty years ago – except now it’s lower.

(1911 – 1970) American burlesque entertainer, actress, author & playwright
Age Appearance Body Old Self

You might be a redneck if… you ever named a child after a dog.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Children Dogs Family People Rednecks

You may be a redneck if… your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Characteristics People Rednecks

When I got through with him, he was all covered wit' blood… my blood.

(1893 – 1980) American singer, pianist, comedian & actor
Conflict Fights Self

Bond smoked like Peter Lorre, drank like Humphrey Bogart, ate like Sydney Greenstreet, used up girls like Errol Flynn… then went to a steam bath and came out looking like Clark Gable.

(1926 – 1991) American television journalist
Entertainment Film People

Flattery is telling people exactly what they think of themselves.

Characteristics People Self

A woman is a highly developed, deeply intelligent, infinitely complicated being… and it needs to be carefully tricked into doing things.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics People Women

Sometimes a majority simply means that all the fools are on the same side.

(1925 – ) writer
Fools Intelligence People

Familiarity breeds contempt… and children.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Children People Sex

Dates are basically where I go out and I act like someone I'm not until the person likes me enough to be who I actually am.

writer & comedian
Characteristics Dating People Relationships Self

Hermits have no peer pressure.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
People

They say men can never experience the pain of childbirth; but they can, if you hit them in the goolies with a cricket bat for 14 hours.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian
Men People Women

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Money People Situations

You might be a redneck if… your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but to a man it is the beginning of the end.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
People Relationships Time Women

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders… I hate necks.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Body Communication People Women Wordplay