Subject: People (Page 17)

When we’re unemployed, we’re called lazy; when the whites are unemployed, it’s called a depression.

(1941 – ) American civil rights activist & Baptist minister
People Situations Work

Everyone tries to get you to dance at clubs; and then I dance, and they’re like ‘not like that!’

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Dance Entertainment People Self

If I were married to her, I’d be sure to have dinner ready when she got home.

(1920 – ) U.S. Secretary of State economist, statesman & businessman
People

Caesar might have married Cleopatra, but he had a wife at home… there's always something.

(1884 – 1949) American humorist & literary critic
Marriage People

Exercise freaks… are the ones putting stress on the health care system.

(1951 – ) American conservative radio talk-show host
Activities Exercise People Stupidity

A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Alcohol Food/Drink Men People Women

If you treat people right they will treat you right… ninety percent of the time.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Characteristics Honesty People

About all some men accomplish in life is to send a son to Harvard.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Children People

You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.

(1954 – ) author
Beliefs Emotions God People

What do hookers do on their nights off – type?

(1952 – ) comedian
People Work

He looked at me as if I was a side dish he hadn’t ordered.

(1885 – 1933) columnist & writer
People

I'd never buy my girl a watch… she's already got a clock over the stove.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball People Relationships Sports Women

Three stages of sex in a man’s life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

Definitions Men Sex

Why is it that men who can go through severe accidents, air raids, and any other major crisis always seem to think that they are at death's door when they have a simple head cold?"

(1898 – 1992) American actress
Health Men People

Somewhere between the Angels and the French lies the rest of humanity.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics People

Pretty women make us buy beer… ugly women make us drink beer.

(1946 – ) American actor
Beer Women

Friend: A person who listens attentively while you say nothing.

Definitions Friends People

I broke up with this girl… I can't tell you her real name, of course, because – well, she didn't tell me her real name.

comedian
Dating People Relationships

People who say that money can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Emotions Happiness Money People Shopping

If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Men People Relationships

I watching a weird porn the other day; it was just a fat man crying and wanking at the same time…. then realized I hadn't turned the TV on.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
People Self Sex