Subject: People (Page 17)

Woman: An animal… having rudimentary susceptibility to domestication… The species is the most widely distributed of all beast of prey… The woman is omnivorous and can be taught not to talk.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Men People

I can do some things now that I couldn't do when I was 17, like date high school girls.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian
Age Dating Girls People Relationships Young

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Autos Occupations People Situations Women Work

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need money the most, are the very ones who never have it.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Life Money People

In the nineteenth century, life was hard for Europe’s pheasants.

Malaprops People Poverty

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Men People Relationships Women

Why is it that nobody understands me and everybody likes me?

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Characteristics People Self Understanding

I’m getting pretty worried; my girlfriend hasn’t gotten her period… and she’s already 14.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Age Girlfriends People

In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Characteristics People Self

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Characteristics Communication Conversation People Speech

A lot of smart young people have come out of Indiana; the smarter they are, the faster they come out.

(1866 – 1944) American writer, newspaper columnist, playwright & humorist
People Places

I thank God for creating gay men; because if it wasn’t for them, us fat women would have no one to dance with.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
People

One year they asked me to be poster boy – for birth control.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance People Self Situations

It's hard to feel fit as a fiddle when you're shaped like a cello.

American basketball coach & executive
Appearance Body People Self

I'm so sick of these men who just talk about themselves… I'm looking for a well-hung mime.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host
Body Men Speech

A gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done. 

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
People

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication People Speech

Personally, I don't like a girlfriend to have a husband… if she'll fool her husband, I figure she'll fool me.

(1866 – 1946) English author
Girlfriends Relationships

I know when (women) don't like me 'cause they'll say things like, 'Yeah, that's him, officer.'

(1960 – ) American stand-up comedian & writer
People Self Women

My ancestors didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the boat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
History People Things Time

I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me, because she calls me her sixty-second lover.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Girlfriends People Sex