Subject: People (Page 24)

A face like a wedding cake left out in the rain.

Appearance People

All men are equal before fish.

(1929 – 1933) 31st U.S. president, humanitarian
Animals People

In creating the human brain, evolution has wildly overshot the mark.

(1905 – 1983) Hungarian-British author & journalist
People Science/Weather

Some folks are wise and some are otherwise.

(1721 – 1771) Scottish poet & author
Insults Intelligence People

If you were to second guess your decision to book time at a Native American community, that would be a reservation reservation reservation.

(1957 – ) American comedian
People

I hope there’s a tinge of disgrace about me; hopefully, there’s one good scandal left in me yet.

(1938 – ) English actress
People Self

Men love war because it allows them to look serious… it is the one thing that stops women laughing at them.

(1926 – 2005) English novelist & essayist
Conflict Emotions Laughter Men People War Women

Ordering a man to write a poem is like commanding a pregnant woman to give birth to a red-headed child.

Carl Sandburg (1878 – 1967) biographer & poet
Communication Men People Reading/Writing Women

I’m a controversial figure: my friends either dislike me or hate me.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Friends Old People Self

A year ago Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America; now he’s unknown throughout he world.

People

My body is a temple; unfortunately, my diet is ISIS.

American comedian
Appearance Body Self

Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.

(1972 – ) Irish stand-up comedian, voice over artist & actor
Democracy Government People

What’s a cult…it just means not enough people to make a minority.

(1925 – 2006) American film director, screenwriter & producer
Beliefs People

A woman’s always younger than a man at equal years.

(1806 – 1861) English poet
Age Men People Women

You have taken yourself too seriously.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws People Self

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Age Conflict Friends Killing People

I spend three minutes every day choosing a TV channel to leave on for my dog; then I go to work, and people take me seriously as an adult.

American comedian
Animals Dogs Self

If men could get pregnant,abortion would be a sacrament.

(1916 – 2000) American lawyer & activist
Health Men People

Imagine if the headless horseman had a headless horse… that would be chaos.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
People

When I dance, people think I’m looking for my keys.

(1957 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & screenwriter
Dance Entertainment Self

They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Appearance Clothing Men People