Subject: People (Page 25)

The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.


Conflict Intelligence Killing People Stupidity

Specialists are people who always repeat the same mistakes.

(1883 – 1969) German architect & founder of the Bauhaus School
Mistakes People Problems

Nobody ever lost a dollar by underestimating the taste of the American public.

(1810 – 1891) American politician, showman & businessman
Characteristics Money People

I like going to the park and watching the children run and jump around, because you see, they don't know I'm using blanks.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Arms Children People Things

Men – because of a tragic flaw – cannot see dirt until there is enough of it to support agriculture.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Housework Men People

The English are not very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
England People Places Sports Time

Redneck: Popular term for a rustic male, but rarely employed when addressing one in person.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions People

Bureaucrat: A Democrat who holds an office that a Republican wants.

Government People

Sidesaddle: How men, rather than women, would ride in a truly logical world.

Definitions Men Women

Here's to our wives and girlfriends… may they never meet!

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Marriage People Wives Women

It's wonderful to meet so many friends that I didn't used to like.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Friends Misspokements People

Don't give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Clothing People Women

Only when one has lost all curiosity about the future has one reached the age to write an autobiography.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Books Communication People Self

Self-abuse is the sincerest kind.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Activities Self Sex

Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it.

Conflict Crime People

Women love scallywags, but some marry them and then try to make them wear a blazer.

(1938 – ) English fashion & portrait photographer
Men People

You might be a redneck if… your underwear doubles as your bathing suit.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

You may be a redneck if you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos Education Money People

I was such a nerd in high school, I didn't even have imaginary friends, I had imaginary bullies.

(1966 – ) American actor, musician & comedian
Characteristics People Self

Every revolutionary idea – in Science, Politics, Art or whatever – evokes three stages of reaction. They may be summed up by the three phrases: 1. It is completely impossible; don't waste my time. 2. It is possible, but it is not worth doing. 3. I said it was a good idea all along.

Ideas Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People

[My husband] can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house… he can't stand the competition.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance People Self