Subject: People (Page 26)

The only thing I like about rich people is their money.

(1879 – 1964) British politician
Money People Wealth

Every society honors its live conformists and its dead troublemakers.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
People

In any group of eagles, you will find some turkeys.

Murphy’s Laws People

In every group of girlfriends, there’s that one who is the sluttiest; if you don’t have that friend, you’re that friend.

(1981 – ) American Comedian
Girlfriends People Sex

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Individuals Killing People

The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology; until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Beliefs People Religion Science/Weather

If I were married to her, I’d be sure to have dinner ready when she got home.

(1920 – ) U.S. Secretary of State economist, statesman & businessman
People

You might be a redneck if… you think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are," Gentlemen, start your engines."

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
People Work

The fact that you do not know the answer does not meant that someone else does.

Murphy’s Laws People

The bravest thing that men do is love women.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Emotions Love Men People Women

The main trouble with women is that they will just not put the seat back up again.

(1961 – ) English actor & comedian
People Women

Politics is the pursuit of trivial men who, when they succeed at it, become important in the eyes of more trivial men.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Government People Politicians

I’d like to marry a nice domesticated homosexual with a fetish for wiping down Formica and different vacuum-cleaner attachments.

(1960 – ) English comedian, novelist & actress
Housework Marriage Men

There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
People

Flatterer: one who says things to your face that he wouldn’t say behind your back.

Characteristics Communication People Speech

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Children People Places

What do hookers do on their nights off – type?

(1952 – ) comedian
People Work

All decent people live beyond their incomes nowadays and those who aren’t respectable live beyond other peoples’.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Money People

I hate to see a young man get ahead on the basis of a famous family name.

(1932 – 2009) U.S. senator (Massachusetts)
People Self Success

Some people can stay longer in an hour than others can in a week.

(1837 – 1920) American author
Insults People Relationships Time