Subject: People (Page 34)

That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Men People Shopping Women

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Mothers Self

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Appearance Body Fat People Women

It's hard to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenics just because she lives in your body.

(1956 – ) American entertainer & comedian
Health People Self

A gentleman never swears at his wife when ladies are present.

Characteristics Men People

Nobody really cares or understands what anyone else is doing.

Murphy’s Laws People

They laughed at Edison and Einstein, but somehow I still feel uncomfortable when they laugh at me.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Emotions Laughter People Self

Football is all very well a good game for rough girls, but not for delicate boys.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Football Girls People Sports

Make sure to be in with your equals if you’re going to fall out with your superiors.

People

… the Women’s Lubrication Movement.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops People Women

When I was a Republican, Saddam Hussein was our ally, George Bush owned a mediocre baseball team, Enron was a respected energy company and Michael Jackson was still black.

(1950 – ) Greek American author, columnist & website co-founder
Past People Self Time

I judge how much a man cares for a woman by the space he allots her under a jointly shared umbrella.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Men Sports

Hell is easy to define; it would be spending eternity with Evangelicals.

American judge & lawyer
Beliefs Opinion People Religion

My ancestors didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the boat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
History People Things Time

Saint: A dead sinner, revised and edited.

Definitions People

Don't give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Clothing People Women

I meet so many people; I don’t even know some of my friend’s names.

(1981 – ) heiress, socialite, media personality & model
Friends People

Barack Obama's approval ratings are so low there is talk of replacing him with Jay Leno.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Opinion People

People become progressively less competent for jobs they once were well equipped to handle.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

Love is what happens to a man and woman who don't know each other.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Emotions Love Men People Women

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Marriage Men People