Subject: People (Page 42)

I can't take a well-tanned person seriously.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist
Appearance People

In a relationship you have to communicate, which means listening to her talk… ladies, you fake orgasms… we fake listening.

(1962 – ) American comedian & actor
Communication Men People Relationships Women

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

(1936 – ) television talk show host
Entertainment Money People Television

Treat a horse like a woman and a woman like a horse; and they’ll both win for you.

(1884 – 1966) Canadian-American businesswoman
People Women

People are always available for work in the past tense.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

When I was a kid, I got no respect. I told my mother I’m gonna run away from home. She said, “On your mark…”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Mothers Self

Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?

(1953 – ) American comedian, writer & actor
Marriage People

Animals may be our friends; but they won’t pick you up at the airport.

(1962 – ) comedian, actor, voice actor, screenwriter, & film & television director
Animals Friends People

They put me in Special Ed because they thought I was slow, but I stayed in Special Ed for the ladies.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Education Girls Intelligence School

The feller that calls you "Brother" generally wants something that don't belong to him.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
People

It's our fault… we should have given him better parts.

(1892 – 1978) Canadian-American film producer (Warner Brothers)
Acting Government People

I think the reason guys like women in leather outfits so much is because they have that ‘new car’ smell.

Appearance Clothing People Women

How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb?


People

Ballerinas are always on their toes; why don’t they just get taller ballerinas?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
People

Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Government People

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

(1769 – 1821) French general & politician
Mistakes People

Champagne for my real friends, and real pain for my sham friends.

(1949 – ) American singer-songwriter, composer & actor
Communication Friends People Wordplay

If you want to know how old a woman is, ask her sister-in-law.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Age People Women

Note to self: Stop. Doing. Anything.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Self TV/Movie Quotes

Americans like fat books and thin women.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Appearance Body Books Communication People Reading/Writing Women

One thing your friends will never forgive you is your happiness.

(1913 – 1960) French-Algerian author, philosopher & journalist
Friends People