Subject: People (Page 48)

I was raped by a doctor … which is so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress
People Self

Younger Generation: A group that is alike in many disrespects.

Age Definitions People Young

We have the power to bore people long after we are dead.

(1885 – 1951) American novelist, short-story writer & playwright
Communication People Reading/Writing Self

I watching a weird porn the other day; it was just a fat man crying and wanking at the same time…. then realized I hadn't turned the TV on.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
People Self Sex

Acquaintance: A degree of friendship called ‘slight’ when its object is poor and ‘intimate’ when he is rich or famous.

Definitions People

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Eating Food/Drink People

It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Family Mothers People Relationships Time Women

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Girlfriends People

I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.

(1947 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & television producer
People

The word “lady” most often used to describe someone you wouldn't want to talk to for even five minutes.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
People

Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Appearance People

Neighbors: The only people who listen to both sides of an argument.

Definitions People

The intelligence of any discussion diminishes with the square of the number of participants.

Communication Conversation Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People Speech

Men have two emotions: hungry and horny; if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Food/Drink Men People Sex

A man can be called ruthless if he bombs a country to oblivion; a woman can be called ruthless if she puts you on hold.

(1934 – ) American feminist, journalist, & social & political activist
Characteristics Men People Women

It’s like kissing Hitler.

(1925 – 2010) American film actor
People

Women who drink white wine either want to get married, sell you a piece of real estate, or redecorate your house; either way, it's expensive.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Marriage Money People Women

Being a star has made it possible for me to get insulted in places where the average Negro could never hope to go and get insulted.

(1925 – 1990) American entertainer
Characteristics Insults People Success

You might be a redneck if… you've ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Dogs People Rednecks

The usefulness of any meeting is in inverse proportion to the attendance.

Murphy’s Laws People Situations

You always know when he's ready for sex, ’cause naked, he looked like one of them butterball turkeys with the little pop-up timer.

Lisa Lampanelli (1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Fat People Sex