Subject: People (Page 66)

Man has his will, but woman has her way.

(1809 – 1894) physician, professor, lecturer & author
Men People Women

I like handicapped men ’cause a handicapped man get a check and a good parking space.

(1971 – ) American comedian & actress
Autos Money People

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady… it sounds like a saddle horse.

(1929 – 1994) U.S. first lady, wife of John Fitzgerald Kennedy & book editor
People

You might be a redneck if… you can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

Women speak two languages – one of which is verbal.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Communication Language People Women

You might be a redneck if… your ironing board doubles as a buffet table.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Things

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist
Emotions People

You might be a redneck if… you think Genitalia is an Italian airline.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

Whenever I meet a pretty girl, the first thing I look for is intelligence; because if she doesn’t have that, then she’s mine.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Girls Intelligence People Women

Homosexual: A man’s man.

Definitions Men

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.

(1931 – 2005) American actor
Age Men Old People

You know that creepy-looking guy you stare at two seats behind you, thinking, who would come to a movie by himself? That's me.

(1969 – ) Canadian ice hockey player & executive
Hockey People Self Sports

My mother said it was simple to keep a man: you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom; I said I’d hire the other two and take care of the bedroom bit.

(1956 – ) American model & actress
Family Men Mothers People Relationships Sex

We have in England a curious belief in first-rate people, meaning all the people we do not know; and this consoles us for the undeniable second-rateness of the people we do know.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Characteristics England People Places

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Characteristics Children People Things

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day – and another, in case it doesn’t rain.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
People

A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.

(1788 – 1824) English poet
People

I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance People Self Ugly

It’s hard to play a guy who rattles his medals while you’re putting.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports

All people are born alike – except Republicans and Democrats.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
People

So thoroughly corrupt, every time he smiles an angel gets gonorrhea!

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Insults People