Subject: People (Page 98)

You know what they say: ‘Once you go black… your parents don’t talk to you anymore.'

(1981 – ) American Comedian
Dating People Relationships

Zoo: A place devised for animals to study the habits of human beings.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Animals Definitions People Places

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

(1934 – ) writer & editor
Intelligence People Places Science/Weather Stupidity

An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.

(1885 – 1962) Danish physicist
Mistakes People Problems

You might be a redneck if… you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing People Rednecks

Ya back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid… well that and ‘faggot.'

American comedian
People Self

The best number for a dinner party is two – myself and a damn good head waiter.

(1896 – 1972) Turkish-born Armenian business magnate
Eating Food/Drink People

A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
People

I'm really not a Facebook or Twitter guy; I'm a prime-rib-and-baked-potato guy.

American baseball player & manager
Baseball People Self Sports

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

(1925 – 2005) television host
New York City People Places

Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.

(1922 – 2007) American novelist
Characteristics People

If humor was the foundation of my life, men were definitely the first floor.

(1946 – 1989) comedian & actress
Emotions Life Men People

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Entertainment People Television

At any particular time, there are more horse's asses in the world than horses.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws People

Even Robinson Crusoe had company on Friday.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
People

Only when one has lost all curiosity about the future has one reached the age to write an autobiography.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Books Communication People Self

I like Kit-Kats unless I’m with four or more people.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink People

The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in those tiny toilets.

American playwright, television writer & author
Men People Sex Situations

There are no good girls gone wrong, just bad girls found out.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics Girls People Women

My choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician; and to tell the truth, there’s hardly any difference.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Government People Politicians Self

Hermits have no peer pressure.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
People