Subject: People » Self (Page 7)

I’m no angel, but I’ve spread my wings a bit.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Sometimes I’m so sweet even I can’t stand it.

(1935 – ) British actress, singer & author

A man talking sense to himself is no madder than a man talking nonsense not to himself.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter

When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

I’m not the type who wants to go back to the land… I’m the type who wants to go back to the hotel.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

When I was born my father spent three weeks trying to find a loophole in my birth certificate.

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor

Sooner or later, I'll be punctual.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist

When I was a Republican, Saddam Hussein was our ally, George Bush owned a mediocre baseball team, Enron was a respected energy company and Michael Jackson was still black.

(1950 – ) Greek American author, columnist & website co-founder

Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic and so am I.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor

I am the rock between me and the hard place.

(1966 – 2011) American stand-up comedian

Well, I screwed it up real good, didn't I?

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president

Egotist: A conceited ass who thinks he knows as much as you do.

I have an existential map; it has ‘you are here’ written all over it.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow.

(1856 – 1924) 28th U.S. president & politician

I broke in with four hits and the writers promptly declared they had seen the new Ty Cobb… it took me only a few days to correct that impression.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

I’m not very domestic… for years my children though mold was a frosting.

(1951 – ) American author, playwright & lyricist

If it weren't for my Adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

I was such a nerd in high school, I didn't even have imaginary friends, I had imaginary bullies.

(1966 – ) American actor, musician & comedian

The only parts left of my original body are my elbows.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

They finally found one.

British ski jumper