Subject: Problems (Page 14)

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”

Accidents Definitions Problems

In this world there are winners and losers – and, of course, ‘the others’, who comprise the majority.

(1967 – ) English comedian
Failure People Success

Experience: The name an older man gives to his mistakes.

Definitions Mistakes

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success

Everything will go wrong at one time.

Corollary: That time is always when you least expect it.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

Apart from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist
Communication Problems Situations Wordplay

I led the league in “Go get ‘em next time.”

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Failure Sports

Things go right so they can go wrong.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success

The physician can bury his mistakes, but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines.

(1867 – 1959) architect, interior designer, writer & educator
Doctors Health Mistakes

Saturday afternoon, although occurring at regular and well-foreseen intervals, always takes this railway by surprise.

(1836 – 1911) English dramatist, librettist, poet & illustrator
Problems Things

Government does not solve problems; it subsidizes them.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Problems

If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

He's completely unspoiled by failure.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Failure Insults

Any new activity will cause more trouble than you can possibly imagine.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

Philosophy: Unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.

(1838 – 1918) journalist, historian, academic & novelist
Problems

If the probability of success is not almost one, then it is damn near zero.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Success

Aren’t I lucky, to have survived so much bad luck.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Life Problems

If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.

Military Murphy’s Laws Problems

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Problems Situations

I ain’t got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can’t make no mistakes. Like he’s, waddya call, inflammable.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Characteristics Malaprops Mistakes