Subject: Problems (Page 19)

If you pick up a chunk of broken concrete and try to pitch it into an adjacent lot, it will hit a tree limb and come down right on the driver’s side of your car windshield.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Ninety percent of all mental errors are in your head.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Mistakes Yogi-isms

If the probability of success is not almost one, then it is damn near zero.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Success

Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn't even have when you were on your own.

(1892 – 1964) singer, dancer, comedian, actor & songwriter
Marriage Problems

Any tool dropped while repairing an automobile will roll under the car to the vehicle's exact geographic center.

Autos Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

The mistakes made by Congress wouldn't be so bad if the next Congress didn't keep trying to correct them.

(1923 – ) American quote & quip writer
Congress Government Mistakes Problems

Failure has gone to his head.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Characteristics Failure Insults Problems

If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

The greater the funding, the longer it takes to make the mistake.

Mistakes Money Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

There is no safety in numbers… or in anything else.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Life Problems

The shortest measurable interval of time is the time between the moment one puts a little extra aside for a sudden emergency and the arrival of that emergency.

Money Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

The toughest call an umpire has to make is not the half-swing; the toughest call is throwing a guy out of the game after you blew the hell out of the play.

American baseball umpire
Baseball Mistakes Problems Sports

My daughter's tricycle said “Some Assembly Required” … it came in a jar!

(1957 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & screenwriter
Children Family Problems

Mechanics, not microbes, are the menace to civilization.

(1868 – 1952) British writer
Problems

Anything hit with a big enough hammer will fall apart.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

The greatest thing the Democrats have ever done for me was to defeat me for the governor of Tennessee.

(1903 – 1992) country music singer, fiddler & promoter
Failure Government Politics

If you drop something, it will never reach the ground.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

I'll say this for adversity: people seem to be able to stand it, and that's more than I can say for prosperity.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Money Problems

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents’ shortcomings.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Failure Family

Never moon a werewolf.

(1958 – ) screenwriter, film director & actor
Problems Situations

Nothing you can’t spell will ever work.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Problems