Subject: Problems (Page 24)

That’s one of the remarkable things about life… it’s never so bad that it can’t get worse.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Life Problems

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Emotions Failure Friends

The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Intelligence Problems Stupidity

When the water reaches the upper deck, follow the rats.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Men still die with their boots on, but usually one boot is on the accelerator.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Accidents Autos Clothing Death Problems

When one is trying to be elegant and sophisticated, one won't.

,
Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command… very often, that person is crazy.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
People Problems

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success

Our meetings are held to discuss many problems which would never arise if we held fewer meetings.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Places Problems

While the difficulties and dangers of problems tend to increase at a geometric rate, the knowledge and manpower qualified to deal with these problems tend to increase linearly.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Science/Weather

In life your dreams may not come true, but sooner or later one of your nightmares will.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Problems Sleep

For every problem science solves, it creates ten new one.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited.

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems

I have made mistakes, but have never made the mistake of claiming I never made one.

(1841 – 1918) publisher of the New York Herald
Mistakes Problems

Dilemma: A politician trying to save both his faces at once.

Definitions Politicians Problems

Never go out to meet trouble; if you will just sit still, nine cases out of ten someone will intercept it before it reaches you.

(1872 – 1933) 30th U.S. president
Problems

If your action has a 50% possibility of being correct, you will be wrong 75% of the time.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Friends Old People Problems Success

I ain’t got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can’t make no mistakes. Like he’s, waddya call, inflammable.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Characteristics Malaprops Mistakes

Coach: Hey Norm, how’s the world been treating you?

Norm: Like a baby treats a diaper.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Life Problems TV/Movie Quotes

My life has been full of terrible misfortunes most of which never happened.

(1533 – 1592) French writer
Life Problems