Subject: Relationships (Page 7)

Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.

(1967 – ) American actor & producer
Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

My sister wanted a cat for a pet… I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Animals Cats Dogs Relationships

Maybe you're only allotted a certain amount of tears per man and I’ve used mine up.

(1965 – ) American actress, model, singer & producer
Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

Bitch Are You Retarded?: Stop Being a Dumbass! Either He Loves You, He’s in Love with You, or You’re Just Something to Do for Right Now….

Book Titles Relationships

I went home with this French guy ‘cause he said something adorable, like, ‘I have an apartment.'’

(1981 – ) American Comedian
Relationships

Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother – you’re not sure what you’ve got but you’re pretty sure you’re not going to like it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Family Relationships Things

Elaine, breaking up is like knocking over a coke machine. You can’t do it in one push, you got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

My girlfriend say’s that I’m afraid of commitment… well she’s not my girlfriend… more a wife.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Girlfriends Marriage Relationships Wives

I met this girl, she was an actress, and she gave me her number; it started with 555.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Dating

I'd never buy my girl a watch… she's already got a clock over the stove.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball People Relationships Sports Women

It is better to have a relationship with someone who cheats on you than with someone who does not flush the toilet.


Relationships

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain't nothin' can beat teamwork.

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist
Intelligence Relationships Stupidity

Courtesy: The art of yawning with your mouth closed.

Dating Definitions Relationships

Blind Date: When you expect to meet a vision and he turns out to be a sight.

Dating Definitions Relationships

You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.

Dating Relationships Situations

Are we simply romantically challenged… or are we sluts.

(1965 – ) American actress, model, singer & producer
Dating Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

Do you know how hard it is to find a decent man in this town? Most of them think monogamy is some kind of wood.

movie character in The Mask (Amy Yasbeck)
Men People Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

A "good" family, it seems, is one that used to be better.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist
Family Relationships

The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders.


Men Relationships Women

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Characteristics Family Relationships

Once the trust goes out of a relationship, it’s really no fun lying to them anymore.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Relationships TV/Movie Quotes