Subject: Science/Weather (Page 11)

It’s not an optical illusion; it just looks like one.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather

It is so dry… I caught a catfish that had ticks on him.

Exaggerations Science/Weather

Well, evolution’s just a “theory;”  and, I’m thinking to myself, ‘Well, thank goodness gravity’s a law.'

(1963 – ) American stand-up comedian
Science/Weather

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Art Democracy Government Science/Weather

I play in the low 80's. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports

Science is Truth. Don't be misled by fact.

Beliefs Facts Honesty Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Truth

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Money Science/Weather

It always rains on tents; rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Science/Weather

Space isn’t remote at all; it’s only an hours drive away if your car could go straight upwards.

(1915 – 2001) English astronomer & mathematician
Science/Weather

It is so hot… I saw a chicken lay a fried egg.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Animals Science/Weather

Brace Yourselves for a Good 12 inches!

Headlines Science/Weather

The scientific name for an animal that doesn’t either run from or fight its enemies is lunch.

(1947 – ) American philosopher of science
Animals Science/Weather

You're flickin' around, all of a sudden – boom – you're watching a mole for an hour-and-a-half.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & actor
Entertainment Science/Weather Television

The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Cold Places Science/Weather

Yes, but when I discovered it, it stayed discovered.

(1936 – 2013) American mathematician
Science/Weather

Red sky at night, shepherd’s delight; blue sky at night… day.

Humorist
Science/Weather

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Science/Weather

I went to Moscow once; it was so cold at night one guy fell out of bed and broke his pajamas.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Cold Places Science/Weather

1. If it is green or it wiggles – it is Biology.
2. If it stinks – it is Chemistry.
3. If it doesn’t work – it is Physics.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Science/Weather

A computer program does what you tell it to do, not what you want it to do.

Science/Weather