Subject: Sex

Sex alleviates tension; love causes it.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Emotions Love Sex

Once a woman has given you her heart you can never get rid of the rest of her body.

(1664 – 1726) English architect & dramatist
Emotions Love Sex Women

My wife wants sex in the back of the car… and she wants me to drive.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Driving Sex

I'm a great lover… I bet.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Beliefs Opinion Sex

If a man can f**k and drive race cars… man… I mean, what else-is there?

American auto racer
Auto racing Sex Sports

I can still enjoy sex at 74; I live at 75, so it's no distance.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Age Emotions Sex

I have no problem with homophobia; as long as they do it behind closed doors.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Fear Sex

You sleep with a guy once and before you know it he wants to take you to dinner.


Sex

All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I’ll put it this way… I had it out.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Sex

When women can't climax, it's our fault, but when we can't get an erection, we have to go to the doctor.

(1967 – ) Honduran-born American comedian, writer & actor
Men People Sex Women

I was filling out a questionnaire that said, “Who would you most like to sleep with – anyone living or dead?” I said “Anyone living.”

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Sex Situations Wordplay

Whatever else can be said about sex, it cannot be called a dignified performance.

(1907 – 1982) American journalist, editor & author
Characteristics Sex

I know I’m not sexy; in high school I was voted “Most Likely to Masturbate.”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Sex

The average man thinks about sex every… what were we talking about?

(1964 – ) American comedian
Men People Sex

By the way, I faked every orgasm!

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

I'm a bisexual; I get it maybe twice a year.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Sex Time

Quickie: No sooner spread than done.

Definitions Sex

Easy: Used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

Definitions People Sex Women

The only way to prevent prostitution altogether would be to imprison one half of the human race.

(1886 – 1961) Canadian writer, literary critic & libertarian philosopher
Sex

The three words you never want to hear while making love… honey, I'm home.


Sex Situations

I married a German; every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.

(1945 – ) singer, actress & comedian
Activities Conflict Places Sex