Subject: Sex (Page 30)

It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs People Religion Sex Women

I asked my wife, “last night, were you faking it?” She said, “No, I was really sleeping.”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Sex Sleep

Sex: The pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable.

Lord Chesterfield (1694 – 1773) British statesman
Sex

The only advice I ever got from my dad is this: sex is like pizza, even when it's bad you still gotta pay for it.

(1962 – ) American stand-up comedian, writer, actor & radio host
Sex

Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex.

(1901 – 2000) English author
Men People Sex Women

Due to a court ruling, sex toys are now legal in Alabama; the whole state is buzzing.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Sex

Incest: in many parts of the Bible Belt, the most popular form of dating.

American author
Dating Relationships Sex

My wife is a sex object; every time I ask for sex, she objects.

(1931 – 1993) English comedian
People Sex Women

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Activities Sex

Never pass up a chance to have sex or appear on television.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Sex Television

Sex with me when I'm really drunk is like being at the dentist… you can tell something's going on but you don't exactly know what it is.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Alcohol Food/Drink Sex

I tried phone sex and got an ear infection.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Health Sex

Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex.

(1818 – 1883) German philosopher, economist, sociologist & socialist
Education Intelligence Sex

The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love heterosexuals, it’s just that they need more supervision.

(1959 – ) Australian writer & television producer
People Sex

I just broke up with my girl friend, I caught her lying… under another man.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian
Relationships Sex

Sex is emotion in motion.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions Sex

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Family Relationships Sex

I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed… I leave.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Situations Wives

Masturbation is the thinking man’s television.

(1946 – ) British playwright, screen writer & film director
Sex

Chastity: Perhaps the most peculiar of all sexual aberrations.

Definitions Sex

One of my favorite oxymorons is engagement party.

writer, website creator
Marriage Sex