Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 3)

I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name… and they say golf is a quiet game.

Golf Sports

Fore: A golf bawl.

Definitions Golf Sports

The golf swing is among the most stressful and unnatural acts in sports, short of cheering for the Yankees.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Sam Snead was born with a natural ability to keep his bar bills as low as his golf scores.

(1910 – 1983) professional golfer
Alcohol Golf Sports

I enjoy the oohs! and aahs! from the gallery when I hit my drives; but I'm getting pretty tired of the awws! and uhhs! when I miss the putt.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

I went to bed and I was old and washed up. I woke up a rookie… what could be better?

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

For most amateurs, the best wood in the bag… the pencil!

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Sports

This is a game of misses; the guy who misses the best is going to win.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

That one is so far right Michael Moore could make a documentary about it.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

My game is so bad I gotta hire three caddies – one to walk the left rough, one for the right rough, and one down the middle. And the one down the middle doesn't have much to do.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

At 15 we put down my bag to hunt for a ball, found the ball, lost the bag.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Golf is not, and never has been, a fair game.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Sports

While playing golf today I hit two good balls… I stepped on a rake.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Golf Sports

I spent $3 million on drink and $3 million on gambling, but I wasted the rest.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

God said to Faldo, as He once said to Nicklaus, "You will have the skills like no other." Then he whispered to Ballesteros, as he whispered to Palmer, "But they will love you more."

American sportswriter
Golf Sports

Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Appearance Golf Sports

The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie – and an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark…

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

Golf Murphy’s Laws Problems Sports

What goes up must come down.  But don't expect it to come down where you can find it.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Golf Sports