Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 3)

There are two reasons for making a hole in one; the first is that it is immensely labor-saving.

Golf Sports

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by an occasional miracle.

Golf Sports

I played golf. I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. … you're supposed to yell, Fore! but I was too busy yelling, “There ain't no way that's gonna hit him!”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Golf Sports

Once when I'd been in a lot of bunkers, my caddie told me he was getting blisters from raking so much.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

We learn so many things from golf – how to suffer, for instance.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

Handicap: An allocation of strokes on one or more holes that permits two golfers of very different ability to do equally poorly on the same course.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

Golf: An ineffectual attempt to direct an uncontrollable sphere into an inaccessible hole with instruments ill-adapted to the purpose.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Golf Sports

The point is that it doesn't matter if you look like a beast before or after the hit, as long as you look like a beauty at the moment of impact.

Spanish professional golfer
Golf Sports

The main problem with keeping your eye on the ball is you have to take your eye off your opponent.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

That sounded like he hit a roll of wet toilet paper.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

It’s hard to play a guy who rattles his medals while you’re putting.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports

I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Golf Sports

I lost 150 lbs. if you include my wife.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

My best score ever was 103. But I've only been playing fifteen years.

(1935 – 2012) American football player, sports announcer & actor
Golf Sports

I don’t think anywhere is there a symbiotic relationship between caddie and player like there is in golf.

professional golfer & commentator
Golf Misspokements Sports

Swing hard in case you hit it.

(1961 – ) American football player
Golf Sports

There is an old saying: If a man comes home with sand in his cuffs and cockleburs in his pants, don't ask him what he shot.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

A business executive is someone who talks golf in the office and business on the golf course!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Golf People Sports

Why am I using a new putter? Because the old one didn’t float too well.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie – and an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark…

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports

Yeah, after each of my downhill putts.

professional golfer
Golf Sports