Subject: Sports (Page 118)

(He) started out here with the Astros and before that he was with the Orioles.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Misspokements Sports

Two kinds of American football players ain't worth a damn: one that never does what he's told and the other that does nothing but what he's told.

(1923 – 2013) American professional football coach
Football Sports

I wanted to go through the TV and strangle Terry Crisp. I wanted to punch Chris Gratton in the face. And when Petr Klima took a penalty, I wanted to send him back to Czechoslovakia.

Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager
Hockey Sports

Some of ours [umpires] is so crooked that they can lay in a berth only when the train’s making a curve.

(1885 – 1933) columnist & writer
Baseball Beliefs Sports

If you watch a game, it’s fun; if you play it, it’s recreation; if you work at it, it’s golf.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

You don't hit with your face.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Appearance Baseball Yogi-isms

They should call fishing what it really is… tricking and killing!

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Animals Language Sports

I want to keep fighting because it is the only thing that keeps me out of the hamburger joints. If I don’t fight, I’ll eat this planet.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Eating Food/Drink Sports

I’m the guy that made Joe DiMaggio famous.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball People Self Sports

He couldn’t spell cat if you spotted him the C and the T.


Football Intelligence Sports

Don’t park in the spaces marked, “Reserved for Umpires.”

professional baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

In Willie DeWit, we have an all-American boy, even though he is a Canadian.

Boxing Misspokements Sports

Send ‘im’ down a piano, see if ‘e can play that!

Stephen Gascoigne (1878 – 1942) Australian sports fan & heckler
Sports

Some people have a chip on their shoulder; Billy has a whole lumberyard.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Baseball Characteristics Sports

I had to go off the circuit twice to avoid him. I don't know what Rene Arnoux is doing in Formula One racing. He should be on the beach.

Belgian auto racer
Auto racing Sports

Golf is my real profession – show business pays my greens fees.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Acting Entertainment Golf Sports

It’s permanent, for now.

professional baseball player
Misspokements Sports

He asked me if he could marry Carrie before he asked her.  I said: You want to what?’ I thought he was just going to ask for more ice time.

Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager
Hockey Sports

It's not very often you get to see the Lone Ranger and Toronto in the same night.

baseball manager
Baseball Sports Wordplay

Football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Education Football Sports

If you call on God to improve the results of a shot while it is still in motion, you are using “an outside agency” and subject to appropriate penalties under the rules of golf.

British golf writer & commentator
God Golf Sports