Subject: Sports (Page 118)

I didn’t see [Christy] Mathewson, but Oquendo said he had a good slider.

American baseball player
Age Baseball Sports

The only way you can check Gretzky is to hit him when he is standing still singing the national anthem.

Boston Bruins general manager
Hockey Sports

Left hand, right hand, it doesn’t matter, I’m amphibious.

professional basketball player
Malaprops Sports

I don't order fries with my club sandwich.

Canadian hockey player
Body Hockey Sports

It's hard to describe what it's like to see a stock car flying through the air knowing it's going to land on top of you.

American auto racer
Accidents Auto racing Problems Sports

Why am I using a new putter? Because the old one didn’t float too well.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

The main problem with keeping your eye on the ball is you have to take your eye off your opponent.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

(1925 – 2001) actor & musician
Activities Golf People Sports

If Marc Bulger throws an interception in Sun Devil Stadium and nobody is there to see it, is it still an interception?

American sports writer
Football Sports

When Lew was a twenty game winner for the Milwaukee Braves, people needed three columns for his pitching record: won, lost and relative humidity.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

I've only ever seen Errol Christie fight once before and that was the best I've ever seen him fight.

British boxer
Boxing Misspokements Sports

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Animals Sports

We’re all endowed with God-given talents… mine happens to be hitting people in the head.

American boxing champion
Boxing Occupations Sports

I'd take five [former player] Milt Schmidts, put my grandmother in the nets and we'd beat any team.

Former NHL referee
Hockey Sports

Golf: A long walk broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

Definitions Golf Sports

He ran out of talent about halfway through the corner.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

Gossage puts guys like me on his cereal for breakfast. He's the most intimidating pitcher I've ever seen.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

We’ve got no-trade clauses. Nobody wants us.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

We went to Alaska once and they made us honorary Alaskans. Then we went to Hawaii and they made us honorary Hawaiians. We're going to the Virgin Islands this year.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Places Sports

I’m going down so often these days you’d think I was making a blue movie.

English boxer
Boxing Misspokements Sex Sports

You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don’t have to walk any extra distance to get it.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports