Subject: Sports (Page 121)

I just stood there watching him walk past and thinking, ‘I don’t know what that is, but I know there weren’t two of them on Noah’s Ark.’

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

The Rangers…

Canadian professional hockey goalie
Hockey Sports

We play a man-to-man defense. Person to person sounds like a telephone call.

Basketball Sports

A golf ball is like a clock; always hit it at 6 o’clock and make it go toward 12 o’clock… but make sure you’re in the same time zone.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Sports

What’s the toughest thing in a professional football game? … Its being the mother of the quarterback.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Family Football Mothers Sports

I’d like to help you, but you don’t drink.

professional baseball player & manager
Alcohol Baseball Sports

He could hit .300 with a fountain pen.

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host
Baseball Sports

Magic Johnson is the best player who plays on the ground, and Michael Jordan is the best player who plays in the air.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

In the back of Hughes' mind must be the thought that he will dance down the piss and mitch one.


Sports Wordplay

Blind people come to the park just to hear him pitch.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

Ban On Boxing After Death

Headlines Sports

He needed a psychiatrist more than I did.

(1929 – ) American baseball player who had a well-publicized bipolar disorder
Baseball Sports

Laird has been brought in to stand in the corner of the circle.

Australian cricketer & commentator
Misspokements Sports

All quitters are good losers.

German-American football coach
Football Sports

It was further than I thought.

Equatorial Guinea swimmer
Sports

The Orlando Magic were so bad last season, the cheerleaders stayed home and phoned in their cheers.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive
Basketball Sports

We raced the other day and it wasn't a photo finish… it was an oil painting.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

I liked the choreography, but I didn't care for the costumes.

(1939 – ) American actor, dancer, singer, producer & choreographer
Appearance Basketball Body Clothing Sports

We have only one person to blame, and that’s each other.

professional hockey player
Activities Hockey Misspokements

You don’t know what pressure is until you play for five bucks with only two in your pocket.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

We have fifty-one golf courses in Palm Springs; he (Gerald Ford) never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports